[rainboekid]

I normally feel kind of distanced from my body but whenever I try to get more in touch with my body I start to feel very uncomfortable feelings of feeling like I’m being touched all over and I get pictures of my dad in my mind and it’s really unbearable. I also have a hard time touching my own skin or touching others sometimes. I always get these feelings whenever I try to reconnect with my body otherwise if I can’t handle it I’ll end up disconnecting again eventually. I’ve thought about the possibility of ocd but this feeling is always consistent with that state of mind and I don’t have any compulsive actions that I do about it that I’m aware of.

[sideblinded]

rainboekid, it is certainly a possibility that your dad may have been involved since you think of him and you have such sensations going on when in any physical contact. It may be worth your time to see a therapist and get this sorted out. No one can say for sure if you were abused unless a professional can talk with you much further about this. Best of luck and I hope you get this sorted out.

[*PeaceLily*]

I have the same thing! I thought it might be an ocd-ish thing myself. It feels different to that though.I also just disconnect again. I can't even be 'in' my body whilst showering or getting dressed. It's not like I'm even doing anything sexual when I get it.

For me, I also get a feeling like I'm overwhelmed in a smothering/suffocated kind of way. It's hard to explain.Sometimes I feel like I'm literally trying to get something off me. I get scared and feel like I can't breathe, and like I need to get away from something. I also get a general 'dirty' feeling.

Being in my body at all seems to be threatening to me, and I increasingly think that it has something to do with sexuality. Now that I am less dissociated and a bit more in my body. I experience a reemergence of memories/images. They are images of sexual abuse. The more I am in touch with my body, the more memories/images I get, and the more I experience these feelings.

I can definately relate to what you're experiencing- I even got it when writing this post! I think it is from sexual abuse, and I know I was sexual abused, so it certainly seems connected, especially given the images I experience

XxX