[i dont matter]

I read so many stories here..... some awful, awful stuff. The stuff of horror books. And my heart breaks for each and every one of you.....

I have some issues - but nothing like the horror stories. Mine are "minor"......

• I was physically and mentally abused by my brother.

• My mother mentally abused me (she was not deliberately trying to - she just could not "parent" very well).

• My only friend would "grind" on me (and I HAD to hang out with him or my mother promised to humiliate me).

• I have a memory of my grandfather that is incomplete - but we do know that he molested my mother and my aunts (unsure if he molested his son).

Okay, it was not an ideal life..... but it pales compared to so many things that I have read here.


I am in therapy - but I often feel like I am wasting their time over my "minor" issues. That I am being a whiner or a cry baby.....

Anyone else feel this way???

I'm not wasting my therapist's time, and you aren't either. Of everything I struggle with, the emotional harm was the worst. It runs the deepest. People focus on the other, but the emotional gutting does the greatest damage. My therapist gets that. Any good one will.

Let yourself deal with this. (Also: it doesn't matter what your mother intended or not, her parenting caused you harm.)

[IrisBloom]

You are not a whiner. Your pain is real and matters. Trauma is trauma and no matter to what degree you were abused, the results are the same. Of course physically some wounds are worse than others, but again, pain is pain and no one has the right to tell you that yours is not as severe as other's.

[Frankbtl]

Hi IDM, without a shadow of a doubt.......you are NOT a whiner!!!
Abuse is abuse, and NO abuse is ever OK........it matters, the effects of it matter, and you matter!!!
And although other people on here may have had a harder time.........there shouldn't be any "competitions" here or anywhere else regarding abuse?? Everyone deserves the support they need, whatever that is
So it really is good that you've managed to put out there, and in therapy what happened to you. Just a bit less of the discrediting it and the effects it may have had on you, hey?? You deserve support!!
And if you want to talk a bit more about what happened.......the effects on you..........hey we're/I'm definitely here for you!!!

Alison

{{{IDM}}} You do matter!

[perspective4]

I think we can all minimize - it is how we cope. but nothing of this nature is meant to be compared through whose battle scars seem worse. we have all endured, and all deserve to see the better side of things. don't minimize yourself, my friend - you are deserving of much more.

[Dog on a Tree]

Your being harsh on yourself. Your not a whiner nor are you a cry baby. What you went through is wrong on any level. You deserve to get help. Your not wasting the therapist's time.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((( hugs )))))))

[over8ted]

Originally Posted by i dont matter

I read so many stories here..... some awful, awful stuff. The stuff of horror books. And my heart breaks for each and every one of you.....

I have some issues - but nothing like the horror stories. Mine are "minor"......

• I was physically and mentally abused by my brother.

• My mother mentally abused me (she was not deliberately trying to - she just could not "parent" very well).

• My only friend would "grind" on me (and I HAD to hang out with him or my mother promised to humiliate me).

• I have a memory of my grandfather that is incomplete - but we do know that he molested my mother and my aunts (unsure if he molested his son).

Okay, it was not an ideal life..... but it pales compared to so many things that I have read here.


I am in therapy - but I often feel like I am wasting their time over my "minor" issues. That I am being a whiner or a cry baby.....

Anyone else feel this way???

I feel that way. I was mildly abused by my ex-husband and verbally abused by my father as a child but I hear other people's stories of abuse and I'm like, "It was never that bad." I suffered no broken bones. I got my fair share of bruises, got scared quite a lot and had lots of suicidal thoughts and self esteem issues but I do feel like complaining about my life when others' problems are so much worse is kind of whiny of me. I actually came here because I don't really feel like I can talk to the people in my life about this stuff. Either they know my ex and wouldn't believe me, or they don't know him and if I tell them about the way he treated me I feel like I'm vilifying him and that it isn't fair because they only hear my side.

I understand what you are saying, IDM. But our pain is real. These kinds of things are traumatic. If it has harmed us, and we seek out treatment because of it, then it matters! We matter. Our pain is very real. We deserve to be heard and healed.

[RedEagle]

If you had an abusive childhood and you've now got legit mental health issues that interfere with your daily functioning at work, school, etc. then you belong in therapy.

My childhood was abusive but the major mental health issues didn't show up until later in life so I got by with various coping mechanisms until suddenly things changed and I needed serious professional help just to hold down a job. Child abuse is no joke and mental health issues are no joke, it's better to seek help sooner than later before things get to the point of no return.

abuse is abuse. there is no way around it. you have been through things you shouldn't have been through. the abuse we all experienced is not part of a competition - we all deserve help and support.

[RedEagle]

It's better to seek help early. Mental health problems have a way of getting worse and worse if you don't seek some kind of help. Ignoring it is a mistake. If you had major physical health problems you wouldn't ignore it and hope it goes away on it's own would you? Not a good idea.