This is a SUPER horrible thing to type but even worse to dream. I have been having sleep and dream problems lately but last night it got really bad and confusing for me. As night is here again, i am afraid to go to sleep and have another one.

Has anyone with past csa had a dream where you as the adult had a child do the bad things? I KNOW there is NO desire in me for anything close to this as my life is about helping kids that have been hurt. I am scared of it now though because I just started realizing i told my t about the dream in a text earlier and now i wonder if it might mean something bad to him and he could think differently about me now.

Someone with past csa tell me this has happened before please and means something ok.

i don't know what to say except that our interpretations of what happened to us can get muddled in our unconsciousnesses. you are not a bad person at all.

Bummer, i was sure hoping there would be this attack of csa survivors that were going to rush in saying those types of dreams happen to all of them and stopped fast.

I would prefer to relive every moment of my life then keep having those! !!!

i find that lots of people don't post on the Survivors of Abuse forum, so don't worry about it. i'm sure there are lots of people who've had the same or a similar experience.

[junkDNA]

ive had these things before...my T says its common .

[Nammu]

Sounds like your mind is trying to find a way not to be the victum. The is probably the first step, as you go though therapy and start feeling stronger the dreams will keep changing. You will be protecting the child and eventually you won't dream about this subject at all. Talk to your t about how your dreams are changing and that this process is upsetting you. Perhaps your T has training to help you take charge of your dreams and Chang then while you are sleeping.

Thank you guys. I am very freaked out about it but it does help to have someone else that has experienced it.

Sidestepper, thanks. Hope you are on the right track.

[ThisWayOut]

I've had dreams where I was both roles at once... I think it's pretty normal... sorry you are having these dreams though. It can be very disturbing.

Thanks, thiswayout. .. Yes, it IS DISTURBING to say the least!

Appreciate the feedback, it really helps.

Weeeeeeell, slept about 2 hours and had sooner of the worst nightmares yet. Why is this coming on so fast and crazy? ?? It is like my brain is attacking itself all of a sudden. I have lived with this stuff in my head for many many years and it had never been like this last couple of weeks. I have a doc apt with my therapist tomorrow to see if there are any meds that will stop the nightmares for a while at least because with my job I can't let this go on or address it with therapist for a couple of months.

I got to turn this off some how! Anyone have any insight into why, meds or ways to stop them?

[Nammu]

It sounds easy and counter- intuitive and is really very, very hard. You embrace the dreams. It's on the idea that the more you try to tell yourself not to think of something the more you think of it.

How long its been doesn't matter as much as since it happened doesn't matter as much as your mind decision to deal with it....even if that's at an inconvenient time for you. PTSD happens when it happens, it could be years after the event if it wasn't delt with at the time.

You tell yourself before you fall asleep that you accept whatever dreams your unconsciousness brings you will be welcome and acknowledge. It does decrease the anxiety but it's really hard to do. It took me a long while to really believe my T but it did work.

Originally Posted by sidestepper

It sounds easy and counter- intuitive and is really very, very hard. You embrace the dreams. It's on the idea that the more you try to tell yourself not to think of something the more you think of it.

How long its been doesn't matter as much as since it happened doesn't matter as much as your mind decision to deal with it....even if that's at an inconvenient time for you. PTSD happens when it happens, it could be years after the event if it wasn't delt with at the time.

You tell yourself before you fall asleep that you accept whatever dreams your unconsciousness brings you will be welcome and acknowledge. It does decrease the anxiety but it's really hard to do. It took me a long while to really believe my T but it did work.

ooohhhh, as much as I hate drugs....... I will pop a pill loooong before i am going to be ok with the type of dreams I am having. This had NEVER been even looked at in my life and i am over 40. I can't even barely speak that stuff happened with my t yet, i sure can't keep having these dreams putting all this stiff in my head! Worst part is, with each dream I carry THAT visual around for days in addition to the stuff that was already there.

I can address it and work on it with my t in a couple months, but just NOT YET!! STOP!!!