I let my mind wonder today, which I shouldn't let happen until I'm more comfortable with myself, and I went into a fit of anger thinking about the people offline who responded so carelessly after I've told them about my past abuse. I only told them as a means to recover and get over it, and some people just found out through secondhand means. Maybe it's because they didn't know the whole story, but it seems like most peoples' response to my abuse was, "Eh, it was bad. Whatever." It makes me feel like the abuser is here all over again, yelling, "I was right!" and that I deserved the abuse, and still do, whenever someone reacts with so little emotion. This is what makes me so upset. All the fear, anger, hyperventilation, frustration, and beating of my dignity was only worth an, "Eh." It has, thankfully, taught me to be much more careful about who I go to to speak about my abuse. Also, I'd tell them the whole story next time. However, I'm not sure I'd feel too comfortable saying exactly what happened to me.

One time I was pushed beyond my fear of my father's abuse and, knowing full well he would find out about it and use it to abuse me further, I went to a family member for help. They let me down... They told me they'd talk to me later, because they were busy with their friends, and they never did. They just didn't care. And I've never forgotten.

I'm sure there are people out there who relate to this. If so, I'm real sorry . I'd be happy to listen to your stories if you feel you can share.

[kaliope]

i pretty much know what you are talking about. i really dont chat with others about my abuse. i have never thought of that until now. but i have talked about it with my sisters. my little sister was empathetic. she pretty much suffered the same mental health issues as me as a result.

Possible trigger:

actually much worse and she died as a result just a year ago.

my older sister is a different story. she is in so much denial. (my brothers too) but she states she wants to get close and she is wanting to know what happened, why i had a falling out with my dad (one of my abusers) so i get to this vulnerable state where i think i can open up to her and then she minimizes everything by saying it wasnt a big deal, that she sees me as functioning just fine and the only reason i have a diagnosis is because that is what my t specializes in. she thinks i just have to quit living in the past and get on with my life. great idea if only my past would quit interfering with my life. so know you are not alone in all this

[ThisWayOut]

I can relate. One of the things that had made it so hard for me to open up to my T's had been that the first few people I told reacted poorly (pretty much blaming me and telling me to deal with it)...

[Fuzzybear]

I so much relate to the above

[RedEagle]

Telling others you were abused usually makes them see you differently (in a worse way) so unless it's a therapist it's probably better not to tell anyone. People want to hear about how you've persevered and overcome negative situations because then they feel like they can too.

[over8ted]

I have noticed that too RedEagle.

Thank you all . I'm sorry to hear that kaliope. I've noticed too that those who haven't gone through abuse often deny or feel uncomfortable about it. The same seems to go for anything that may have negative connotations, which MI and abuse really should not have. Although heartbreaking what happened to your sister, I can see how she could understand you. Diagnoses are results from the symptoms already present, after all.