[deathsrevenge]

Possible trigger:

When I was 8 I was young and stupid child. My little sister and I went down to the barn where the teenagers worked at my family business. Only one boy was working that day. I was telling him how much money I had because I thought it was cool or something. He told me he could give me more money if I gave his pet worm a kiss... you can probably tell where this story is going ... When I was 12 I finally realized what had happened all those years ago. My sister had watched ...
Was I a horrible person for doing that to her?
Was it his fault or mine?
Was is considered "molesting" since he didn't force me?
When I was 16 someone convinced me to tell my parents who then told me I was a liar. I cried and haven't mentioned it again.
I tried talking to him once about it and he pretends I don't exist like the whole thing never happened.
I remember.
My sister remembers.
I don't know what to do.

I literally blocked out the whole thing because it is based on sexual abuse. Thanks guys <3

[wheredidthepartygo]

what a hard thing to have to remember and deal with
the most important thing is that it wasn't your fault, you were only 8. you had no idea something like that would happen when you and your sister went out to the barn. it was molestation because you were 8 and no 8 year old should be made to do that. you weren't forced but you were coerced which is no different, please don't try to think you should've/could've stopped it, you were just so young
i'm so so sorry that happened with your parents, love and support are what they should've given you
if you remember and your sister remembers than maybe the best first step is to talk about it together. let her know you've been feeling guilty about having brought her with you, she may really want to talk about it. if she was younger than you and you were only 8 than she could also have some guilt going on - not having stopped what he was doing or helped you...
you wonder if it's your fault or his... you should talk to your sister because she might think it's hers.
i'm just throwing things out here though. another good idea would be to talk to a therapist about it.
personally i've had an easier time talking with my sister than a therapist
((hugs)) <3

[deathsrevenge]

Originally Posted by wheredidthepartygo

what a hard thing to have to remember and deal with ...

Thank you so much, you not only made me feel a little better but you gave me a lot to think about and I will take your advice to heart. I really appreciate you taking the time to express your opinions.
If there is anything I can help with let me know It's the least I can do.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

It is most definitely NOT your fault. Both you and your sister were the victims in this crime. Does it help to know that your sister validates your story?. So many people struggle with "did I make this up? / am I just trying to get attention / am I a bad person who is out to get [abusive person]"

I'm sorry your parents reacted the way they did. There's no such thing as a little sexual assault, just as there's no such thing as being a little pregnant. What was done to you was traumatic. I hope you are getting help to deal with this (and that your sister is too)

(((safe hugs))))

[Big Mama]

It is not your fault. You are not stupid. You were a child. Children are innocent. They do not realize the evils of the world yet. They are trusting and do things and get involved in things that they do not understand.

It was brave of you to tell your folks even years later. How sad that they didn't believe you. That is often what hurts more then the event that happened, the not being believed. That is often where the damage is done. I am sorry this happened to you. I BELIEVE YOU.

The guy who did this is not going to acknowledge it. It would mean he did something wrong. Some people never admit they are wrong. I am sure it is quite frustrating to be ignored by him regarding this subject.

My advice to you would be to let this go, you were a innocent child, not stupid or careless, just a child. If you cannot let it go, and I completely understand if you can't. Things were done to me as a child and I can't let them go completely either, then you need to talk it over with a Therapist. My Therapist has been a tremendous help in helping me clear this up.

Good luck. I wish you the best. And remember... I heard you and I believe you.