[misschristianmt]

Hi everyone. I lost custody of my now 16yo mentally retarded son 8 months ago due to a lawyer's lies (my lawyer at that...now I see why people say they have a special place in Hell). I have only seen him twice, both times at church and his dad found out. As a side note, his dad is horribly abusive, withholding food from the kids when they were forced to visit him, which they both hated. My daughter is now 19 so she no longer has anything to do with him. Anyway, my son sent me messages on Facebook telling me I did not have to go to church anymore if I did not want to. Another side note, his dad gets on FB and pretends to be my son. Sick scum! Anyway, I divorced the monster 10 years ago and he has never stopped pulling stunts. I have had two protective orders and a 3-ring binder full of legal junk because he is such a jerk and so hateful and cruel. I finally, after 10 years of asking, am getting help with my concerns about my 16yo being left alone all the time by his dad (and the beer bottle throwing when he fights with his wife). Not sure why it took so long, but anyway, I am scared (I have PTSD due to being abused horribly as a child and adult) that the ex will do something when he finds out I am accusing him of abuse. I always knew he was abusive, but again not sure why no one helped until now. I have tried every social service imaginable and not only did they not help, they were very rude and hateful. I was told by one rotten creep I am being painted the bad guy. The ex is an abusive, alcoholic drug addict who withholds food from my son and leaves him alone and just has a very volatile temper. I have done none of this and I am the bad guy?!?! So when they stole my son, I stayed in bed for 2 months and then signed myself in due to the depression. It was a horrible experience. My anxiety was sky high and they would not give me my needed medication (clonidine) when I said I needed it. They were late to give it to me to boot. I refuse to go back there, but my depression is 10. I will not do anything to myself or anyone else, but I have no clue where to turn. I had enough to pay this month's bills and that is it. My landlord knows the whole situation. He is going to be gone for a full month started 06/23. I am sick thinking about giving up my 5 cats. I told them I would never abandon them the way I have been abandoned. My daughter moved out three weeks ago after I told her I really needed her to stay and help with bills until I can get my disability hearing. She abandoned me. Anyway, I am terrified my ex will come to the house and hurt me. Everyone knows to talk to him first if anything happens to me, but I am constantly triggered. I cry all day every day. I have 26 more days left in this house and then I dunno what to do. I am sick all the time thinking about it. Oh and the help I am getting said the investigation (assessment when no danger suspected and investigation if there is suspected danger) will take 60 days. That will end 07/19. I cannot stay here that long due to no money, cannot pay any bills so cannot email anyone since I will no longer have the net after the 20th of this month. I have no phone at all (no fun living home alone with five cats who are always sticking their necks way up with huge eyes in the middle of the night...LOL). I tell them to stop cause it is freaking me out! LOL!! But I thought of going into hiding somehow, but I cannot abandon my cats the way I was abandoned. The places that are supposed to help say sorry when I tell them I have no phone. They do not care either. No one has cared about my kids' best interest so why should they care about me? Anyway, I keep thinking of heading north to a soup kitchen, but they will not take cats at a shelter I am sure. I have many things I never want to get rid of, family heirlooms, but I am going to probably have to pack what I can in to my little car and just start driving. Can someone tell me who to talk to about how to do this? My landlord has known for 6 months I was gonna have to move and he said nothing about helping (he is a Christian...blech). I am just so tired of fakes in my life. My life has been nothing but hell and to be abandoned by everyone?? No friends at all and no money. I am praying for a miracle, but I do not believe in them. Not sure what to do. Anyone have any ideas who I can contact to help me hide? I also need to tell my daughter to hide because sure as my ex cannot find me, you can bet he will go after her. He is very sick and evil, and I am the bad guy?!?! No one cares. I cry all day every day and cannot stop. I try to chin up when I am out which is rare due to my agoraphobia. I now have to do all the shopping and everything, which I really needed my daughter to do. Cannot help feeling abandoned. I have horrible terrifying nightmares and wake up shaking. I am afraid to fall asleep. I am so sorry this is so long, but I am literally at the end of my rope on where to go (not my state of Oklahoma but far away). Thank you for reading!!

[Open Eyes]

(((mischristianmt))), I am so sorry you are dealing with all that you have discussed. I believe you and unfortunately when a person is stuggling with PTSD, they can appear to be incompetent as the average person doesn't understand that the individual is really telling the truth and "is" a victim and is suffering greatly and deserves help.

You need to find a social worker that can help you get financial assistance so you can have money to pay for housing and food.

While you have the internet see if you can find the number for a hot line you can call to see if you can find someone who can help you. It does sound like you have run into road blocks with getting the right help, and unfortunately that can and does happen. You need to keep trying and I know that can be very hard.

http://www.victimsofcrime.org/help-f...ctim-advocate-

((Caring Hugs))
OE

[misschristianmt]

Thank you! I have tried 211 and United Way, they do not want to help I will just keep trying.