[PositiveVibes]

Hello,
My baby father gave me chest pain after he it my chest many times. Plus the wind got knocked out of me at one point. He has been abusing me for over 10 years. Over the years it got worse. He used to physically abuse me in the past but it got worse. He didn't mentally and emotionally abuse me as much before either.

Possible trigger:

2 weeks ago was the first time he raped me with objects.
My chest pain is getting better. It used to hurt when I breathed or moved and I could not lay on my stomach. Once in a while I will feel a sharp pain in my chest. Plus he punched my vagina many times till it got swollen and bruised and then raped me with objects and his hands and then had sex with me.

It still hurts a bit when I touch certain parts but it is not swollen anymore. Although, last night I felt a lump on one side. I am so so depressed and I am trying to be strong for my 4 kids but at times I just want to run and just keep running.
To add to the drama, my baby father is a cheat and liar. He has kids after and between my kids.
I just want to SCREAM!!!!
I have so much on my chest. I have no one to talk to. I have been isolated from my friends and family. The one time I go to my parents(at Christmas), he wants to take from me. He says I always leave him on the holidays(he does not celebrate it). He tries the guilt trip. And whenever I want him to spend time with him on any holiday, he is nowhere to be found so I just gave up on it. Only when it is convenient for him, he wants to spend time with us. He is trying to fully isolate me from my parents. Last year he wanted to keep one of my children with him for Christmas but it didn't work out his way. He got angry when we all ended up going to my parents and leaving him behind. He holds me up for it till this day. He brings our kids where ever he wants or to which ever woman's house he wants to, and I only bring them to my parents and he has the nerve to question and get angry at me. My kids love going to my parents for Christmas. He is Sooooooo SELFISH!!!!!! I do not drive now. I do not have my full license. He claims he wants me to learn to drive but him teaching me is another problem that comes with abuse while he teaches me. I have been hit in the head many times while he sat in the passenger seat. The last time I drove with him I almost had to go to the hospital, but that is a whole different story. I would love to get my license. It would help me a lot. Although, I did drive alone a couple times and I felt more relaxed than when I was driving with him.
I feel like I am going CRAZY at times. I am full of different emotions. I always ask what have I done to deserve this abuse. I came from a good home, did not have many friends, didn't steal, only had 3 sex partners in my life(I am 35 yrs old), don't smoke, drink, finished high school on time and finished college,... I know it is never an excuse for anyone to get abused no matter where they are in life, who they are, or what they have been through, but I just don't understand. I am so TIRED.
Sorry for the long post.

[CopperStar]

You need to go the police when he abuses you, your injuries will be strong evidence.

Even if you don't have the motivation to do it for yourself, you need to do it for your children.

If he is capable of treating even one human that way, he is capable of treating anyone that way, including children.

You are the only person who can protect your children now. I hate to sound harsh, but it's the truth - if you do nothing and he abuses your children, you will be partially to blame, for enabling.

Don't be an enabler of child abuse. Go to the police.

[Jadenmia1]

After enduring a long 5 years of abuse, I understand the feeling that you can't leave. It is truly a terrible feeling and I used to believe that I was in a nightmare because I truly couldn't believe the man I loved treated me that way.
I did get out eventually after countless black eyes, my boss called the police and they pressed charges and did not need my consent. A restraining order was put in place so that he couldn't come near me, my children or my family otherwise he would go to jail for a long time.

Let me tell you, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I fought the charges with my ex, I begged and pleaded with the judge and they still charged him.. Now 3 years later I am engaged to the most wonderful man who treats me well, my daughter is safe and happy in a loving home..

You need to leave for your children. Make the call to the police, it will be the best thing you can ever do. Hugs and I wish you all the strength to protect your children because you know in your heart you need to leave.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[nicoleflynn]

Women are murdered every day in the U.S. Please get help. He isn't going to stop abusing you,and it could escalate to him hurting or killing your children.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life and sanity.

You can call the Domestic Violence Hotline, women's shelter, call a social worker,etc.,but you must protect your children.