Do you think childhood bullying has affected you?

Were you bullied in school when you were a kid? Im curious about how you turned out as an adult. I've heard parents tell their kid's to "get over it" or actually shame them for being bullied. I think that is so detrimental to their health... My mother think's its just a normal part of being a kid. But I, on the other hand, don't think being abused during the developmental age period is "normal" or acceptable. The thing's that happen when you're a kid shape you as an adult in many ways. Especially without help.


I was bullied from age 8 to about 13. Sometime's at home but mostly at school. I didn't have anywhere to turn for comfort because I kept it a secret for fear of looking "weak". My grades were all F's and I didn't like myself at all. How was I supposed to concentrate in school when I wasnt comfortable being there in the first place? I did tell my mother, a few times, about being called names and she told me to fight back by calling THEM names. I did what she said and the only outcome was being hated even more by my peers. Eventually I sank into a very hard shell that only pen and paper could break. I withdrew from everyone at school for fear of being rejected and humiliated all over again. To make a long story short: Im in my 20's and i've slowly isolated myself from just about everyone, even family. Im on antidepressants which take away my negative thoughts but I still have terrible HIDDEN anxiety around other people. I use alcohol sometimes to relieve it. But all in all, im different from everyone around me and often wonder why. Why im so hard to figure out, guarded, and difficult to love. I don't complain about anything though and I don't burden anybody with my emotions. I just hide from the world. Seem's like everybody who ive ever really cared about has left so i've fallen off the radar. I know it's not the right thing to do but the truth is, i'd rather be alone than be in pain over somebody else. The reason I think that being bullied (and bullying my sister) has anything to do with the way I turned out is because I changed when it started. It's nobody's problem but my own though and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I can change my life if I want and im trying but it seem's like I always screw myself over in the end. Sometimes I wonder if I even love myself.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Bullying is the worst. For years parents, teachers, coaches and principals thought bullying was something to suck up and tough it out. But it's scientifically shown to be damaging and I know it's affected me. It led to self destructive behavior and for years poisoned my family, work, and social relationships. You haven't mentioned seeing a counselor, but if not ...give it consideration. After a year in therapy some things in my life are improving. But I'm an older adult and lost many years to suffering. It makes me sad now that few years are left.

I think the way I was treated at home conditioned me to be a hot target for bullying in grade school, and also conditioned me to accept it as a part of my then-life.

Frankly I think that any time a kid is being heavily bullied in school and tolerating it, it is because something has gone wrong behind the curtains, usually at home.

As I told my sister, We will both die alone, Except I will be happy to do so.

As a rule, I expect the worst out of people, And I am not disappointed enough in that to improve my outlook on the world.

Although, considering the worst offenders I knew in school for being bullys, and where they are at in life now. I think bullying may do more harm to the bully then the school victim. Unless you count the poor SOB who the bully ran into as an adult that earned them the title of "felon" ....that person might of gotten it worse too.

When I was in school I fantasized about killing my bullies. I had a disturbingly good plan. Thankfully, I didn't follow through! 30 years later, I still think of them with pure hatred. While I don't want to do the job, I hope they die before me so I can celebrate their end. Jeez, I sound twisted, at least I don't think this very often...like, close to never. I hope you find peace and more forgiveness than I can muster.

Im at the point where im not as ashamed to talk about it. Everytime I actually talk about it out loud to someone, I start crying and have to walk away! That's another reason that I know it's affected me. Therapy is definitely on my to do list. Im sorry you went through this as well. It's not something to just sweep under the rug like some people think.

Did you parent's bully you? I know my mom definitely bullied me. It went way past "parenting". I think you're right. If a kid put's up with it at school and doesn't even feel comfortable enough to tell his/her parents, there's something wrong.

No I completely understand why you have those thought's. You probably never got to fully express you're anger for being mistreated. I know, when I was a kid, my parent's wouldn't let me express any anger because I would get in trouble if I did. They saw it as disrespect which was ignorant. Holding strong feeling's inside is destructive especially as a child.

I think it stayed with me. I tended to internalize the negative messages and still push up against them regularly. I feel like an outsider, even around those who love me and are trustworthy. Therapy helps though. You can accept that these negative things happened but also recognize it wasn't your fault and your life didn't end. Childhood passes and can't return.

Absolutely & Most Definitely!

Its so sad to see u go through such pain. I myself was bullied at school wen I started wearing head scarf (which is a very dear act to me) in school at the age 12 and ppl used to call me names which was really hurtfull but didn't reacted and I thought that those words can't really affect me but they did. I didn't tell anyone that get hurt wen they say bad to me I accepted asa stigma in the society. Even teachers!!! So I used be really mischievous in class and as I was pretty socializing I would attract more ppl towards myself n being sent out of the class pretty often.
Anyways have u tried praying it works for me perfectly. Actually I believe it works for everyone. U only have to have faith in it.
Peace

I was bullied a lot too, and into my adult life. I always thought the stupidest saying was "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me".......

Yes they did. My mother is the mentally/emotionally abusive type, my father was physically/sexually abusive. So I grew up being abused by both parents and from all angles. In retrospect I realize that it became 'normal' to me to be treated in those ways by people, and so it never struck me as unacceptable behavior when students bullied me at school. I just blindly accepted it as the 'way it is' in life. I believe this made me a hot target for predatory types.

That's exactly how my parent's were minus the sexual abuse. I can't imagine... Im so sorry you had to go through that. You definitely didn't deserve any of it. Im in my mid 20's now and I forgive my parents but the underlying effects of what they did in my past can't just be ignored. Hoping that you have found a good therapist to help you through everything

That was the saying my mother would tell me to say to kid's at school. In reality, I think anyone would rather be hit with stick's and stones than to be mentally damaged.

I was pretty happy in primary (elementary) school but I went to a rough secondary (high) school and I was bullied. I didn't have a lot of confidence and I think I was an easy target. My dad was verbally and physically abusive and I guess I was conditioned to be a victim. I didn't feel able to talk to my parents about it. I would try to stay off school but my dad got angry and insisted I go. I changed schools at 16 which helped alot...

It knocked my confidence for a long time.

Oh my, yes. Bullying at home, bullying at school, bullying in the neighborhood ...there was no safe place to go.

One event had me running back to my empty home through snow drifts..without my shoes. I was so horrified by what my childhood "friends" did that I forgot or didn't bother to put my shoes on before I left my "friends" house.

I was terrified the kids would follow me home. They did. I locked my doors frightened they would get in. they didn't know it...but I armed myself. Good thing they didn't get in.

I found out days later they had just come over to apologize..and return my shoes.
That's just one event.

I'm 60 years old. It still makes me sad.
We talk about in therapy.

I know I was. I know people would laugh at me all the time. My years of being bullied started in grade 2, so about 7-8, until grade 8, so 12-13. I know it's really hard. I was mainly verbally bullied with names, but I have a few instances of physically. A kid punched me in the face in grade 2. Not sure why. I know people laughed at me for crying everyday. I have always been hypersensitive. And I was laughed at by how I would pronounce my "y"s as "w"s. Yellow was the worst one. The most hateful thing was how I walk. Ever since I first started walking, I have walked crooked. People would call me a penguin because that's how I walk. It hurts a lot.

Anyways, how it has affected me (trigger maybe, idk) is that I can't trust people really. I have one or two friends I trust, but I sometimes doubt their motives. I hate crying because I deem it as a weakness. Also, I won't try to talk to anyone about my problems. I don't want them to judge and laugh at me, saying to "suck it up" or "deal with it" because it's not that easy.

Today, my mom gets random mental abuse episodes. She sometimes calls me at my dads, complain about her life and say that I make her life difficult. She has told me to "suck up" to my anxiety and when I was going through a depressive stage. In grade 9, I felt safer at school than at home because I was scared to talk to my mom because I was afraid of what she would say to me.

I am sorry for anyone else on here who has/had to go through the same thing. It is awful.

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