[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I guess I'll dive right in and say I am struggling. I'm a survivor of childhood physical abuse. It was pretty bad. It makes (amongst many other things) conflict in the workplace very difficult. An angry boss, in a situation I can't flee, is almost as bad as the original abuse. It's flared up recently and I have to tell you I am feeling like i would rather not live than go back to my job on Monday.

[Yzen]

How is your Monday going? I had an angry boss before. I guess the way I dealt with it was to find ways to escape during the work day. During my break, I would leave the building and walk. I would try to get 'lost' in my work by keeping busy with tasks. I would wear headphones and listen to music while working. Anything to take my mind off the boss.

I hope your Monday is going well.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Very kind of you to ask, Yzen. I survived it... although my internal organs feel like I've been twelve rounds with a heavyweight boxer (or do they only do ten rounds... I'm no expert on boxing). Anyway, it was a lot of rounds. The afternoon was slightly better...

[Yzen]

As long as your heart is still pumping, you are standing in the ring. It takes a lot of strength to keep boxing. I'm on your side!

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

You have no idea how much that means.
Yes, still in the ring.

[Kruick]

Sounds like to me that you have been beaten down your entire life and haven't found a way to break the cycle. I'm still barely getting through my abuse. My fractured back, pinched and dead nerves say, if you let someone else tell you what to feel, you will regret it.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Hi Kruik. I'm sorry to hear that.

I wasn't clear if the back injury and dead nerves are related to what happened to you..?

Not sure how to respond to your comment that I haven't found a way to break the cycle.

The things that happened when I was a child were nothing to do with me. I didn't want them to happen; in fact, I was rather keen that they didn't happen. It doesn't reveal a character flaw, any more than being hit by a car would. That is, on the whole, how I view my past; a kind of accident that I've worked hard to recover from, but which has left me with weaknesses in certain areas.

I haven't been 'beaten down my whole life'.

If you met me in the real world, I promise you would have no idea I had those weaknesses. That's how hard I've worked. And why I'm so distressed that it's surfaced again.

That might not be what you meant. In which case, excuse my emotional reaction.

[dlantern]

Have compassion and take care of yourselves. I truly do agree u are not alone in this that is why it is great to get the income you paid into so that you may relax at home when working is too stressful.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Thanks for the kind comment, dlantern. Much appreciated.