[mtw2002]

I am a happily married wife and mother, but I have an irrational fear of **** sex. To be clear, my husband has never asked me to engage in it and has told me that he has never had an interest in it. Despite this, I have bad dreams of being tricked or coerced into having having it and I wake up scared and devastated. This fear haunts me and is on my mind far too much for not even being a part of my life. If I hear a comedian joking about it or friends talking about it casually I feel intense anxiety. I get chest pains, my stomach knots up, my neck and shoulders get so tense that I get a headache and it takes me hours to relax and calm down. I have a history of sexual trauma, though not involving this kind of sex. I strongly associate this sex with loss of control and the only thing I can figure is that I have taken my traumatic experiences from my youth and lumped them into a fear of it. I can't explain it. I don't know why I am so threatened by something that is not real or immediate in my day to day life. I do not need to learn how to accept this, since I never intend to engage in it. I just need to know how to stop obsessing over something that is highly unlikely to happen. What can I do to relax and get over this irrational fear? (I also have similar fears of pornography, but I don't dream about it like I do being

Possible trigger:

anally raped.)

Does anyone else have this fear? Why does this haunt me so?

[CopperStar]

Sounds like it could be an intrusive thought issue, like OCD. So if you seek out a therapist for the issue, you would want to make sure the therapist is knowledgeable about trauma and OCD.

[Tauren]

Have you already received trauma counselling, and did they talk to you about PTSD?

[mtw2002]

It's been over 20 years. I was taken to counseling at the time, but back then I refused to talk about it. I was okay for so many years. This is really a more recent problem. Would PTSD start so long after the fact?

[mtw2002]

I think that's it. I think I am dealing with a combination of OCD and PTSD. I have never talked with a therapist about my past experiences. I was taken to counseling at the time but refused to talk. I have made an appointment with a therapist who deals with PTSD. Thank you for the feedback! I was reaching a boiling point. It's time I get some help...