[Mars92]

I have dealt with a lot of abuse as a child on many occasions. I am 23 now. I have never told anyone about these things besides my girlfriend and she supports me. I never thought it affected me but I'm wrong because I drink a lot and I do very bad and stupid things when I'm drunk. I drink to hide. I always think about my child hood but I always try to just burry it deep inside. I don't want to do that anymore I want to let go and I want to how as a person but I can't if I don't acknowledge these things I went though. How can I start to cope with my anger and sadness? Rather than drinking. How can I let go of what happened to me And move past it? How can I get over the embarrassment and guilt I feel about my abuse as a child? Thank you

[CANDC]

Hi Mars, welcome to Psych Central. So sorry for what you endured and experienced abuse as a child. No one should have to go through it. But it sounds like you are a survivor and aiming to deal with it. But it is hard without a therapist and guide. Another option is to have a psychiatrist that can diagnose and prescribe meds so you don't have to self medicate to ease the pain.

Sorry for the delay in replying. Many people find the forums and the articles helpful. Here are some forums.
Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[Kaylord]

Hi Mars,

I totally understand this. I spend so many years being ashamed of my abuse. I was scared of telling people in fear that they would judge me. I started acting out and lost some friends. My mom put me into therapy and we actually ended up moving to another city.

Honestly, I think what changed everything for me was making a conscious decision to not allow anyone to have that much power over me anymore! I started finding the silver linings from my abuse, and using them to make me a better person. It's definitely easier said than done, but if you really want it, you'll make it happen.

[PrairieCat]

Mars92, thanks for posting here. Congratulations on finally wanting to deal with what has been bothering you and making you drink and act out. My suggestion is to search for a counselor/therapist whom you feel comfortable with to get into your issues and help you heal from the abuse. Look online to find more than one counselor then call and ask for a brief evaluation meeting which should cost nothing. Try and meet more than one to decide which one you have the best rapport with. Good luck!

[nicoleflynn]

I used my life story of abuse andwon a scholarship and am in collge at 68! We can use the ugliness in our life to make a difference. There are so many people who have been abused.

[cluelessgal]

Hi Mars92,

I am so sorry you were abused in your childhood.

First off, congratulations on taking the right step - wanting to deal with your abuse in a healthy way, and not through drinking. We all take up some maladaptive habit or the other because the pain is too much to bear.

A good place to start your recovery, is with a therapist. Your therapist is one person in your life who would not judge you for your feelings, you can talk for an hour and they listen and would help you on your road to recovery.
If you can, do get self-help books.

And another thing which I do find very helpful is writing about my feelings, past incidents. It helps you in getting your pain out. It helps in getting clarity of mind. It helps in acknowledging your feelings. You can either write a journal or your secret blog.

You'll find tons of people here in PC forums who understand your pain and help you cope up with it. And trust me, you are not alone here

All my love.

[loveyouhun]

I was a abuse when I was young and had to take a neighbor for mammogram and I was getting flashback. I used my DBT (Dialectical behavioral Therapy) and I just had to get out of there. I went outside and listen to music on my car radio. Then she was taking so long I went in to find her. I wanted to and find her but I didn't do it. I waited in the lobby. But I had to get out of there and we left and I was crying something trigger me. I don't let anyone touch me below the belt or my breasts. I don't know what happen. But scare the **** out of me.

[nicoleflynn]

Hope you find a good therapist. The blame and shame belong to the abuser....NOT to you. We all choose our behavior, and abuse is a CHOICE the abuser makes