[PrairieCat]

I told my counselor how I felt about our last meeting. I hated it and I told her why. She said she had second thoughts about her response and she apologized to me for her mistake. Countering means that she tried to make me think that I was wrong and my parents were right. She wanted me to consider their thoughts at the time a small trauma occurred. I don't care about their thoughts because they were morons. I felt that she had trivialized the small trauma which was actually huge and very symbolic of all the other traumas. I told her that my parents were morons! I believe that she momentarily forgot that I am a survivor of parental emotional abuse and neglect. I don't think she will forget this again. She actually thanked me for coming back to see her and telling her how I felt!

I will continue to see her but I did contact another counselor who may be a future possibility. I have also ordered the book, "Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA By Pete Walker. I will read this book and then decide if I need another counselor and what kind. What I really loved in the past was having an art therapist. I am leery of EMDR treatment because as I presently understand C-PTSD, the trauma we experienced affected our bodies also. Some kind of body work is necessary. I did some tapping tonight that was wonderful. It is online - called for Abuse and Trauma 'Tapping with Pete Walker.' It is excellent.

I am still having a sleep problem. I think that I must take so much Gabapentin at bedtime that I am totally bombed - then I sleep well and when I have enough sleep, I am a changed person! But I don't like the getting bombed part. Whatever works right now, though, is wonderful!

a lot of emdr also incorporates body work. it helped that i could tap my feet during emdr.

yeah, i know what you mean... i have wasted so much *******ed time in therapy focusing on the issues that were most sensational to therapists (and, i think, they got a charge out of rescuing me from and talking about). but my traumas importance does not register on their scale... (i have experienced a wide range of stuff).

good luck with finding a new counselor.