[kaliope]

So I have been triggered all week after a dr. appt. I have severe acid reflux and i was sent to a specialist for treatment. He agreed initially that testing wasnt necessary but then by the end of the appt thought it may be a good idea, though regardless of what they found, the end result is still medication, which he prescribed anyway and said he would yearly. because of my age, he recommended a colonoscopy. 1. i dont do drs unless i am in horrible agony 2. i certainly dont do invasive procedures of any kind. so after i just mentioned abuse history he backed off and left it all up to me. cool guy. no pressure. but his office has been calling over and over to get me to schedule. i have lost so much sleep and crying and obsessing and feeling like a crazy person being stalked by them. so irrational, but hey, i am an abuse victim, right? i tried to email them but i cant so i was going to go drop off a letter, but i dont want to sound like a crazy person and lose services. so how does this sound?

I attended an appointment on Monday 8/24 and the provider recommended two procedures. I explained to him that due to my trauma and abuse history this would have to be something I had to think about. He was kind, compassionate and understanding. He did not push me to have the procedures, just said he would submit the orders and I could take the time I needed to consider them. Regardless of my decision, he prescribed the medication that was working for me and said for me to come back once a year for follow up. My second issue was I have to check with my insurance coverage for the procedures. Once I am able to deal with the trauma issues, I would have to look at the financial issues before making a decision.

The nurse then came and I patiently sat through explanations of preparation for procedures I was not ready to have. Then she tried to get me to schedule them. I explained my situation to her, that I was not scheduling at this time and I would call if I decided to go through with the procedures. Feeling pressured, I ended up having a panic attack and crying and ended up not being able to work the rest of the day.

The next day 8/25 I received a call from your office. The voicemail left was somebody requesting me to call wanting, again, to schedule the procedures. Subsequently, the PTSD I documented in my file with you was triggered and I was unable to sleep all night feeling pressured to do something when I clearly said I was not ready. I called Wednesday morning 8/26 and explained again my insurance concerns and how I needed time to think about this. I stated I would call if I decided to go through with the procedures. I was told this would be noted in my file.

So today, Friday 8/27, I received another call requesting me to call back to discuss the procedures. I cannot comprehend why I received another phone call when I felt I have communicated so clearly my position that I will call when I, and if I am ready. I am questioning how best to handle this situation without coming across as a crazy person, but it is difficult as I cannot contain how much distress your office has put me through by not accepting that I need to work through this and contact you when and if I am ready. I have not been able to sleep; I am crying all the time and having panic attacks.

So some education: I understand in your profession, this is just routine health care. But to a woman who has been raped repeatedly, the idea of being drugged up and having a man insert things into her orifices and being powerless to do anything about it, this is traumatic and terrifying. She doesn’t just jump on board and say “Sure, I’d love to do that!” It takes some time to process the idea. And having staff call day and day after day pushing her into it when she says she is not ready, is just like telling that guy she is not ready and him force her against her will. I know to you this may sound dramatic, but this is how the mind of a trauma victim works. I clearly marked my mental health issues in my file. I explained my anxiety issues before I ever made an appointment, when I made the appointment, and after I was scheduled. I never came to this office pretending it was going to be an easy thing for me.

My doctor was very respectful of me and gave me great care. He provided treatment of the issue I came in for. He suggested the procedures to rule out other things, but left that up to me. We reached an understanding. I would just like the same kindness, understanding and respect I received from him. So please, for the sake of my mental health, stop calling and pressuring me to schedule these procedures. It makes it seem that the office cares more about making money than it does about the patient as a whole.

[unaluna]

I cant believe they keep calling you like that. i wouldnt get into the details? Just tell them to check with the dr - you two made an agreement! I hope that counts for something!

[AnaWhitney]

I don't think you sound like a crazy person at all and you are definitely not crazy for having this reaction. I do agree with Hankster though, personally I would not go into so much detail either (I would be reminding myself of how it would feel if I had to deal with these people again afterwards) but if you feel you need to that's totally your call

[PrairieCat]

Your letter is excellent! This medical office has a serious problem with communication. Your letter should stop them. The doctor can fix this problem if it continues. Just talk to him. But I really don't think you will have further problems after getting this letter to them! You are amazing for being able to write this letter. I think you should frame a copy of it, it is so outstanding! I think that the people you addressed the letter to need to read it and learn about life and how to take care of patients in a more humane manner just like the doctor they work for!

I wish you a very peaceful long period of time to think about what procedure you want or don't want. Please do not feel the pressure from the stupid people any more. Only do what feels right to you, no rush at all. Peace to you, Kali.