[LadyBlue64]

A child I babysit started hurting her dog, and yelling at it, out of the blue. What would cause a child to suddenly become aggressive toward animals like this? never any sign of violence before, always very sweet. She screamed at him and tried hitting it. I mentioned it to the mother but all she did was scream at the girl and hugging the dog.

Could it be an indicator of abuse or am I paranoid?

[coyotee]

How old is she? My son has never been subject to any sort of physical abuse but when he was 3 he had a little phase of hitting when he got upset. He's 4 now, he's only done it once in recent months. Bad habits are hard to break and I wouldn't be too surprised if it were to happen again. And sometimes even the smallest of things would be a huge deal to him. His intention wasn't to hurt me because he expressed that he truly felt bad when we expressed that his actions hurt. It can be a natural reaction in anger.... I can't say I'm completely sure he didn't pick from something he saw on tv or commercials - but I really honestly don't think so because it's always been incredibly obvious to detect when the tv was the culprit.

It is odd though that you say she did it out of the blue so I don't think you're paranoid at all in believing there could be something wrong. Did it seem like she wanted to hurt the dog or did it seem like she wanted to make the dog do something? Mom's reaction seems a bit off. If it's not physical abuse, it really does sound like at the very least like mom might be communicating negatively - and she may or may not even realize she's negatively affecting her daughter.

[LadyBlue64]

She's 12. I asked her why she was doing that and she said that her mom's boyfriend yells at the dog like that. I didn't ask any other questions but it made me nervous.

My son also was a big hitter in preschool but I feel like 12 is kind of strange. Her mom wasn't really concerned about where the behavior was coming from , instead she was more interested in the dog. Which is fine, I mean, the dog shouldn't be treated like that but I would be more concerned about the behavior being so random like that. Not sure, maybe I'm just being nosy now.

I guess I worry too much

[AbsurdBlackBear]

At first it sounds like it could be signs of conduct disorder which is a precursor to antisocial personality disorder, but her saying her mom's boyfriend does it, it could be her modeling after her mom's boyfriend. Either way I'd be worried for that animal's safety as well as the child's mindset around someone who yells at and hits dogs. o.o

[LordLeetas]

I think you are completely right to be worried, if the moms bf will treat an innocent animal like that, then I would be worried about what else this man is capable of doing to the mother and the child....even though the child is 12 that doesn't mean she knows how to express her emotions and feelings about what she could be seeing in her home life. There could be some form of abuse going on in the home.....the bf could be verbally and/or physically abusing the mother in front of the child and was told not to tell anyone, so instead she's acting out on the dog, doing to the dog what she sees is being done to the mother by her bf. Maybe you might to talk to the child the next time you babysit her. There is no harm in asking a question, but in my experience do not ask her direct questions, try an indirect approach.

Feel free to PM me if you need to

[TerriLynn]

I think you are right to be worried, if the mom's boyfriend behaves that way, that is what she is seeing and learning. Another question is if he treats the dog that way, how does he treat the mom and the 12 yr old?

My nephew, who was 4 at the time, started hitting my dogs. I think it was coming from seeing his father be aggressive with his mother, my sister, and learning that that is how you exhibit your anger or frustrations. I know HE wasn't being hit, but he was seeing it elsewhere.

[starfruit504]

I agree, it's not normal. If she was younger maybe so, but doing that at age 12 is not okay. She knows better. It's a shame her mother's boyfriend is abusive to the animal, that's not helping her at all. I used to yell at my pets a lot and that's because my father did it non-stop. You know what he also did, beat the heck out of everyone in my household.

LordLeetas is right, there's reason to believe there is abuse in the home. You should be more inquisitive. Even if you don't really want to know, you might be her only hope.

People ignored my father's business and ignored every red flag I put up for decades -- and as a 30-something now I'm not thankful for that.

[marmaduke]

Seems the child is copying the bad behavior she has seen.

One more thought.

The mothers reaction was to scream at the child and hug the dog. Totally wrong. She should have just sat down with the child and gently explained that hitting a dog like that is cruel and wrong.
I mean, if the child sees the dog hugged while she gets screamed at she could be jealous of the affection the dog gets, that would make her spiteful toward the dog (a helpless victim)

I remember disliking my mothers dog, she adored that dog and yet hated me. She hugged, cuddled and kissed that dog. But not me. I was ridiculed, ignored, she laughed when her dog bit me blood on my hand. She smirked.

I never hurt the dog, Ive always loved animals but I was jealous. That love should have been mine.