[survivor1993]

I'm new to this forum so sorry if I do anything wrong.

I suffered the final straw of emotional abuse by my family today. My stuff was left on the street, money shoved down my top and told to f off and seen to my car.

I'm 22 years old, and my mum has been abusing me since I was a little girl. She started hitting me at 13, after hitting my dad and brother for many years. We didn't speak again until I was 15. At 15 I moved in with her, I missed her, but the abuse has never stopped.

She got engaged to a horrible man when I was 16. Who encouraged the abuse. I wasn't the best of teenagers, but I was hit, kicked out and shouted out regularly. He would enjoy these moments, throwing my stuff out onto the streets, telling me to f** off, and setting me off by stealing my things or making comments about my dad.

I moved to University and tried to get on with my life, on my return home, my mum tried to push me out of a moving car. Again, I came home to my stuff on the doorstep, some smashed across the drive, my stepdad calling me every name under the sun as I got into a taxi crying.

The relationship between them is sour, she hits him, they argue and he steals her things credit cards, phones, makes fake facebook accounts of her to slag myself and my brother off and locks her in the house. The police have been involved occasionally.

He has kicked me out before for turning the heating up. Locked me in the house and stole my key so when I eventually got out I couldn't return. My stuff was again dropped to a relatives and I found myself homeless. My mum blamed me for "keeping them awake with a hot house" and being a drama queen for being upset when my stuff turned up at a relatives house - unaware I was being kicked out until then.

Today, was the final straw. Last night I parked on my drive to find my stepdad had left his car in a dangerous position, and I almost hit it. I went in to tell my mum to move it, knowing if I told him hed kick off, and explained to parking was dangerous and idiotic.

He took this out on my brother, saying my dad loved my brother more than I did and I shouldn't come in with bags of stuff I bought from the shop. I was going back out anyway, so I got back nito my car and my mum joined me. Here she screamed at me for telling him off for his parking. I left the house, to find the next day when I returned, my stuff again outside. My mum swearing at me telling me "she was being selfish now" , stuck some money down my top and told me to f off.

I'm a wits end with trying to keep up a relationship with her and her husband. I live a happy life other wise, although I suffer from insomnia and aniexty after the abuse from the mum as a teenager (I was made homeless a lot) I live far away, have a wonderful partner, good friends and the only thing keeping my life down is my mum. I cant take much more, and everytime I feel an attack like this,

Possible trigger:

I think of suicide being my only answer.

Somebody please help me. I cant take anymore.

Im so sorry you are experiencing this. It sounds awful. Can you go no contact for a while, and concentrate on healing yourself for the next few years? The world needs you in it. My experience was that going no contact with my mum was helpful to me. It was painful, but also therapeutic!

[Simone70]

Getting some distance from your family sounds like a really good plan. It doesn't sound like there is going to be any reasonable behaviour on their behalf and you need to protect yourself. Stay strong and stay connected with the supports you already have in your life.