[runningfromrazors]

I was diagnosed with bi polar almost 2 years ago. My husband was the one who forced me to seek treatment by kicking me out of the house and not letting me see my kids until i found somebody that would put me im the hospital.
Since then he has decided that i 100% am about to control my thoughts and behavior. If i do something he deems unappropriate ( and this could be giving him a dirty look when he says somethig i dont agree with) he has different punishments he uses to "control my behavior. The worst punishment is making me sit in our office which is about the size of a walk in closet until he says i can come out. He has removed the chair feom the room because he says "it is not an exercise for my comfort but a way to teach me to control my behavior". I have no back support at all because i am not allowed to lean on the sliding closet door and the rest of the room is bookshelves and a desk and then door. The last time i recieved this punishment was two weeks ago and i had to be in there for 10 hours with no food or drink because i asked for a pillow for my back.
I think i am stable. I just have trouble with all the new rules that he has created for me since my diagnosis. And this makes him say that i am getting worse and not better and then he increases the punishments.
i have stopped taking my medicine because i was gainig weight (another one of his rants) and i figure if i am going to be locked away like i am crazy then i might as well stop taking them and be crazy.
My therapist is beginning to wonder if my bipolar diagnosis was ever accurate and she thinks i might have ptsd.
Anyway i basically need friends. I am not allowed to talk to anybody from where i live and have no contact with my family only my husband and our kids. I am not allowed to use the internet either but i get on my kids tablets alot
thanks for reading and please reply. I am so starved for humans that will talk to be like an actual person

This is just horrible - I am so sorry for what you are good my through! Your husband is an abuser - I'm thinking narcissist. This is not only affecting you, but your children also.

Are you sharing your husband's behavior with your therapist? Your T could be a good support mechanism for transitioning you into a better situation.

[nicoleflynn]

He is abusing you and trying to control you. He has NO right to punish you; you are not a child. I hope you will share this with your t. What he is doing is typical abuser behavior; deciding what is best for you, isolating you. You can call the domestic violence hotline (make sure he isn't around). This is emotional violence, and the same thing as brainwashing. PLEASE share with your therapist everything you have said here. This is a dangerous situation, and he will only escalate. What would happen if you refuse his rules? Are you afraid? No food and water?! That is something done in a POW camp.

[runningfromrazors]

I do tall to my therapist about this and she is helping me document his behavior and abuse. I also have a case manager that comes to my house and she drops by at random times unannounced to throw him off. The situation of me getting out is a tricky one right now. I am actually a nurse ( i havnt worked in over a year bt still have my license). I was made to quit work ( by him) and filed for disability. Right now i have no money or access to it and he wont alllow me to go back to work. If i get my disability in the next couple of months after my hearing then i will be able to get a place for me and the kids. After we are settled then i will go back to work. I think i will be more stable when he cant do this to me and i think my life will feel more satisfying if i go back to work. I am too young to be on disability and not working ( in my opinion)
As for what happens if i dont follow is rules and such...he will force me to leave he house with no money and i will have to sleep in he van and i wont be able to see the kids until i am willing to "totally surrender". At first i thought he was just saying that but no he did it twice so i believe him now.
thank you wo much to thos3 who have replied. I feel like i am human again with people over the age of 10 to talk to lol

I just cannot imagine, but I'm so thankful that you have a therapist and a case manager on your side. This man is very fortunate he does not have me to deal with - "You want surrender? I'LL GIVE YOU surrender!!" Just makes my blood boil.

So, like so many who grew up in dysfunctional families, I have an avid interest in psychology. Over the past week I watched a series of YouTube videos produced by a psychiatric nurse who offers a ton of information about narcissists - not because of her professional training but because she survived a couple of abusive relationships with them. One of her pieces of advice for women financially trapped is to secretly set up a bank account in your name and refuse to provide your address to the bank so nothing gets mailed to the house that would alert the abuser. She also runs an online support group. I obviously don't know if your husband is indeed a narcissist, but some of the information could be helpful. Would you be interested in the info? I'd be happy to provide it, but if not that's ok. BTW, she states that partners of narcissists often receive a PTSD diagnoses.

Does he work so you can have some room to breathe at least? What kind of things do you and your kids like to do?

[nicoleflynn]

#1..He CANNOT kick you out of your house.It is one thing to document his behavior, but getting away from him is your first goal. What does the case worker and therapist say about this kicking you out? He cannot legally do that. I would contact the police and ask for their advice. Can you go to a shelter?

[TerriLynn]

This man is not helping you control your behavior, he is ABUSING you!!! You need to let your therapist know this is happening and your husband needs to see a therapist too, if not yours, so he can understand what you are going through and that punishment like this is not going to help your condition, no matter what it is, bi polar or PTSD.

I don't know if he is an abusive man or if he just doesn't understand your condition, but this behavior of his needs to stop IMMEDIATELY. I am leaning towards him just flat out being abusive considering the controls on who you are allowed to have as friends and talk to. This is the same type of behavior that my exh portrayed, and as soon as I was strong enough through therapy, I was gone!

Please tell your therapist what is going on and either get out of there, with your kids, or get this man some serious help.

[runningfromrazors]

I would love the information on he you tube videos you were watching. That sounds very interesting to the nurse in me as well as my current situation.
i am not familiar with this site but could you private message me or even put he name of he videos on here?
Thank you so much

[nicoleflynn]

He needs serious help, but abusers rarely get any and that is why the abused need to get help to make a plan to leave safely...I stayed for 31 years; one sentence helped me immensely: ":Try to let the side of you that is trying to save yourself...win."

He is either mentally ill or abusive. It doesn't matter; all that matters is that you find a way to stay safe while waiting for your disability. If he degenerates further....he could lock you in a room for a long time, and do who knows what; he could become violent....what happens if he injured you badly or murdered you? What would happen to your children? I don't know WHY your t/people helping you aren't getting you into a shelter or somewhere safe.
Documenting his behavior and abuse won't help you if he injures or kills you or your children; you need to get out now. yes, I understand how difficult that is, but he is dangerous.