[WhatDayIsItAgain]

Hello I have had auditory hallucinations for a long time. I was used to ignoring them, but that is not working anymore. I was recently raped on the bus and now my pstd flashbacks are merging with my hallucinations. I keep hearing the rapist talking to me. I can feel him when I am awake so it is a daymare instead of a nightmare.

I am over 50 years old so I am worried that senility/dementia is affecting me also. It has been two months and it is not getting better yet. I start making some eggs and zone out mentally and burn them. The time seems to just slip away and concentrating on the simplest tasks like scambling eggs is just impossible now. The way the time slowed way down for the assault and just never went back to normal speed. It creeps very slow like the clocks are all broken but I can't seem to do anything like before.

Where is the line between total hallucinations and total flashback? Since I was crazy before I was raped on the bus will I ever get better? Do old people just natually "lose time" this way after a violent attack? Is this because I was punched in the face and kicked in the head or because my private areas were suddenly not the least bit private anymore?

I never had visual hallucinations before this happened to me. Now I see the other nonraping bus passangers laughing at me and I feel him on me (body memory) even when I am at home alone. Sometimes I think I see him but it will be another person who is just innocently standing there... and it makes me doubt my own brain/thoughts/ideas alot.

I blame myself for not being strong enough to stop him and I blame the thirty NOT innocent busrider bystanders for not helping me when I was naked and screaming.

[lostinsidemyself]

Originally Posted by WhatDayIsItAgain

Hello I have had auditory hallucinations for a long time. I was used to ignoring them, but that is not working anymore. I was recently raped on the bus and now my pstd flashbacks are merging with my hallucinations. I keep hearing the rapist talking to me. I can feel him when I am awake so it is a daymare instead of a nightmare.

I am over 50 years old so I am worried that senility/dementia is affecting me also. It has been two months and it is not getting better yet. I start making some eggs and zone out mentally and burn them. The time seems to just slip away and concentrating on the simplest tasks like scambling eggs is just impossible now. The way the time slowed way down for the assault and just never went back to normal speed. It creeps very slow like the clocks are all broken but I can't seem to do anything like before.

Where is the line between total hallucinations and total flashback? Since I was crazy before I was raped on the bus will I ever get better? Do old people just natually "lose time" this way after a violent attack? Is this because I was punched in the face and kicked in the head or because my private areas were suddenly not the least bit private anymore?

I never had visual hallucinations before this happened to me. Now I see the other nonraping bus passangers laughing at me and I feel him on me (body memory) even when I am at home alone. Sometimes I think I see him but it will be another person who is just innocently standing there... and it makes me doubt my own brain/thoughts/ideas alot.

I blame myself for not being strong enough to stop him and I blame the thirty NOT innocent busrider bystanders for not helping me when I was naked and screaming.

I dont think its dementia...my dad was recently checked for that and any time you have any sort of symptom id always rule out medical issues of any kind, so get yourself checked for dementia...but in my non-professional opinion...you may be dissociating. I posted a thread about it in the PTSD area.

I still hear my mom's voice and have flashabcks bad enough that im pinning myself against the wall and can feel the cuts...so maybe just bad flashabcks?