[Licorice15]

when your raising a family together, doing your best, decorating for your child's party and something is not to his liking and in a very angry tone he says....Use some common sense! I say - Would you speak to your boss like that? He says - If he did something stupid I would.
The next day your once again simply doing your best and the comment is - 'You don't think!'
And then your child starts saying to you every so often 'You don't think!' Wonder where they got that from.
Simple little words spoken in anger.... angry tones out of nowhere over time...causing me depression. If I bring up anything negative, I'll get anger. So I can't discuss these moments of disrespect bc tired of anger.

[TerriLynn]

I grew up like that. Lots of name calling. Words are so important. To this day, I am soooo careful about every word I use. Sometimes it can be a handicap because I will actually stop to think of exactly what word I want to use.

Also when I am mad, I don't speak, I don't want to say something that can never be taken back. Once its out, you cant take it back, I don't care how much you apologize.

I am sorry he is hurting you. My EXH was the same way, I could never do ANYTHING right. If he asked for a water and like a certain brand, if they don't have it and I get him something else, I am wrong, if they had it but not cold and I get it not cold then I am wrong. I did the shopping for 3 years, I bought the same deodorant for 3 years and all of a sudden one day it was the wrong one.

Anger is tiresome. But, there should be a way to communicate with your son where things don't get ugly. Maybe a counselor or family member can help with that.

[WhatDayIsItAgain]

I am an adult struggling to express my emotions and needs and fears in an appropriate manner. I think a child especially tween or teen would be developing their boundaries of polite/impolite... I fear the "peer group" influence because the bully humiliation tactics will not be useful life-enhancing skills for your son... as you pointed out, quite well, with your example of interacting with a boss.

My anger is from something else and "leaks out" at wrong people wrong times wrong way. Perhaps other stresses about the birthday party (will my friends be impressed enough??? will my party be cool enough???) caused your son's anger and his immaturity lashed out to be corrected and redirected by you. He should have said Thanks for helping me (but in real life kids take parents for granted until about 25 years old... then the phrase "wisdom of your elders" starts to make sense and by the way... actual adult brain structures are not "in" the brains of young people until about 25yo.

Sorry you had anger instead of "hey THANKS" today.