[richeye]

Hey everybody,

I am pretty sure I was emotionally and verbally abused by my brother especially as well as my dad. Let me fill you in.

I am the youngest of 3. My sister is the oldest and my brother is in the middle. They are both extremely intelligent, and i guess i have above average intelligence though not like them. My brother is a cardiologist and an Army doctor. He hazed the crap out of me growing up. I was constantly told how stupid i was, that i had a low IQ, reading disabled, learning disabled. This coming from a guy who was a National Merit Scholar in high school, graduated highest distinction from the University of Virginia chemical engineering school, and went on to be a doctor.

I have always been very sensitive to being called stupid, and it was such a self-fulfilling prophecy. I feel, and have always felt, completely incompetent and am on social security disability. Even though i graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree in information systems with a good GPA, as well as establishing myself as a competent software engineer, it was still not good enough. I was joked, harassed, ridiculed, put down, teased, bullied, all from a guy who turned out really well.

I had huge footsteps to follow. I idolized him and hoped to be like him 25 years ago, what with him being a 3 year Football starter in high school, a National Merit Scholar, always had friends, etc...And i've been told since i was 18 that i have character/personality disorders as the culprit for my rock bottom self esteem. I'm scared to perform tasks around people without being ridiculed. My dad is another story. I've been on SSDI for 12 years and can't work without feeling rage, anger, anxiety, fear, depression, and despair.

But when i was hazed, joked, harassed, ridiculed, put down, teased, and bullied, I was told it was nothing other than sibling rivalry. My parents didn't do anything, unless it was to punish me for being angry and throwing a fit.

I don't know. I tried getting even 10 years ago, but that only made things worse. I'm 38 now and have never been married or have my own family. I guess it's abuse, as i have been emotionally crippled for 20 years.

[ruh roh]

Sibling abuse is a real thing and can be as debilitating as what you describe having endured. I'm sorry you haven't gotten support for this.

Here's an interesting article about the effects of sib abuse: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/0...-sibling/?_r=0

[ladyrevan21]

It's definitely emotional abuse. I mean, sibling rivalry is usually two siblings clashing; this just sounds like outright bullying. I'm sorry he put you through that, and that your parents punished you.

Yes, it's definitely sibling abuse.

Sibling abuse is often dismissed as "just" sibling rivalry, but it is abuse if there's a systemic pattern of one sibling being the aggressor and the other as the victim. Exactly what's been happening to you.