[Marylin]

My sister who was meant to be my carer abused me physically,emotionally and psychologically for 26 years.10 of those years we were not even living under the same roof.Stupidly,I thought she cared about me,even though things she did were emotionally,or physically violent.In the end I found out she wanted me dead and had worked towards literally bring about my death.I had angina and she caused arguments hoping it would develop into heart failure.I had seven years of heavy menstrual bleeding which the doctors refused to investigate saying it was hormonal.I begged her to fight the doctors for me,I told her the doc said it would take seven years to kill me if it was cancer.She waited seven years and then put up a fight for me.They found a benign tumor the size of an orange and removed it.I think my sister was very upset when the biopsy came back benign!She really did hope I had cancer.

She kept trying to say she loved me and went on best behavior after I cut them out of my will trying to get me to change it back and leave it all to my niece.I had only left some of it to her.i told her I was leaving it all to charity and she and my niece would get nothing.She sabotaged things in my house,putting locks that wouldn't open on ll the windows,making the toilet cistern leak, taking the wood from behind the bath so water would leak down there, removing hinges from the bookcase so that the shelves would collapse and all when I was physically and mentally ill and unable to take care of myself and the house.

Six years ago she did this and I had no one and no help and the house was full of clutter and I could get no one to help me I wasn't well mentally and I was very weak physically.I couldn't wash,cook, clean or eat, she told me to kill myself this time,do it this time she said,I threw myself in front of a car,I was taken to the hospital.They gave me help to get the house straight.I realized she had been abusive not that she wanted me dead and had deliberately sabotaged stuff in the house.

She came back with sorry I love you it won't happen again.She was on best behavior for 4 years then she started with the control and abuse, wanting to control my timetable by driving me everywhere,calling me lazy when I was ill to do stuff,saying I didn't deserve my home or all my nice things cos I wasn't working.I had a stroke scare and she was smiling beaming and said everyone has got to die of something.The cruelty and nastiness she put me though is beyond belief.once when we all worked together I got out of bed one morning and my legs gave way under me and my back hurt,she screamed at me get up you lazy cow you are not getting out of work like that, she didn't believe I was genuinely ill and crying in pain!

Anyway she fixed so the bookshelves would collapse, made the toilet cistern leak,and tied my jasmine in knots and put soil along the access alley borders so weeds would overgrow and block me in then she created arguments to make me ill.I was going mad ,realized it was deliberate to drive me to suicide or heart attack.

I cut her out of my life,I sent her a letter telling her my solicitor said it was legally binding saying I considered her a danger to my health and safety,she was not to contact me or talk to me if we ever crossed paths.

I had not seen her for a year and a half.The other day she forgot I'd be at my mum's a certain day and let herself in with the key,that made me forget my insulin in mum's fridge.She bought it to me and posted it through my letter box.I wasn't happy but I agreed to let her do that favor.

I wish I hadn't cos it makes it look like she hadn't actually tried to kill me and she had.I was angry with myself cos I got tempted to let her help.No way would I have let her back into my life but I shouldn't have been so stupid to let her be able to say she helped me.She is a very nasty,selfish narcissist,everything revolves round her and her own self importance.

I didn't know she actually not only didn't care about me but she hated me and viewed me as a cash cow,wanting me dead to get her hands on my house and my share of my mum's inheritance.

I can proudly say I survived and none of her attempts to drive me mad ,to bring about my death,actually worked.I thank God for opening my eyes to her true motives.I outwitted her in the end.I think this thing with the insulin is God showing me not to be frightened of her.I am in control and I see her for real and what she is,I won't ever trust her again so I am not in danger of letting her back into my life ever!

Praise be to God!

I want to be able to keep this thread to talk about what happened and find some healing.it is good to talk to others whom have found themselves through no fault of their own used by a narcissist.Marylin

[Purple Heart]

Hi

It seems you have gone through great suffering with your sister. Sad story. She seems psychopathic since it appears she was out to destroy you - that's very evil. I've also been the victim of sibling abuse mostly in childhood, still getting over it. It's not talked as often as parental abuse but siblings can be just as bad and leave life-long wounds.

PH

[Marylin]

Hi Purple Heart,
Yes,it was a shock,that is exactly it,my sister was out to destroy me!
I am sorry to hear you have suffered sibling abuse too.
Have you considered therapy?I have had 6 sessions with a counselor.It did help but I feel I need more.

[ruh roh]

I am so sorry, Marilyn.

Sibling abuse can be deadly. My oldest brother ruled the house (absent parents) with terror, incl attempted murder. I believe he was/is a psychopath. The house was filled with rage. Most of the other siblings took it out on whomever was younger. I was at the bottom of the pile, so you can imagine....

I don't know why sibling abuse is so ignored. Relationships with them last longer and can be more intimate and intense than with parents.

[Marylin]

Hello Ruh roh,
thanks for sharing your experience.
I know I was the youngest too so took it out on the cat poor thing,until I realized it was wrong and so I stopped that as soon as I started!I hate angry men of any sort but especially sexism and chauvenistic men too.
Sibling relationships aren't featured in the text books much,I found about sibling rivalry but not so much about sibling abuse.There is a lot on narcissistic behavior which my sister is a narcissist so there is a lot of information on that that is helpful.
Thankfully I have cut her out of my life for a year and a half now,I am doing much better.Thanks again for your reply!Marylinx

[Purple Heart]

Originally Posted by Marylin

Hi Purple Heart,
Yes,it was a shock,that is exactly it,my sister was out to destroy me!
I am sorry to hear you have suffered sibling abuse too.
Have you considered therapy?I have had 6 sessions with a counselor.It did help but I feel I need more.

Hi Marylin

I've had a lot of therapy over many years. I was definitely the scapegoat in the family. A lot of it I believe was sexual harassment but the reverse. Being a boy I was picked on by my sisters because my mother didn't like the male sex. It's done a lot of damage to my sexuality as a man and relating to women. One sister I can't talk to after memories came to the surface of things she did to me as a boy. She has always come across as very self-righteous can never do anything wrong and is also the golden child. I moved away from the family to preserve my sanity! Yes sibling abuse can be just as damaging as parental or adult abuse. I don't think there is much awareness in society about how damaging siblings can be to a person's psychological development. So now i try to align myself with loving, non-toxic people in my life.

PH