[Superheroine]

I don't really want to say much more than that, but I belong here. Sorry that others do too.

[barbella]

I guess the important thing is the surviving.
I have to say I really like your name - very fitting.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Superheroine,

I'm thinking that, for you, that was a big statement??
And thankyou for sharing!!

And, really, no obligations or expectations to say anything, or anything at all more than you want to say.
It's just real good that you're here, as you may have seen there are some really supportive people on here. So whether you "just" want to check out threads/replies, whether you want to think about "just" commenting, or whether you want/need to in time say any more.........any of those things are fine

Again.........it's real good you're here, and thankyou for sharing

Alison

[Superheroine]

Thanks Alison. Yes, admitting to things is not easy for me, nor is talking about them.

[Frankbtl]

Originally Posted by Superheroine

Thanks Alison. Yes, admitting to things is not easy for me, nor is talking about them.

I know A LOT of people are going to completely identify with that
And if you feel that you want/need to talk about things, just do it in your own time, whenever that is, and at your own pace.
And IF/when you do.........I'd say here is a safe place to do it, you won't be judged

Alison

[Superheroine]

It's also hard to know that people that haven't been abused in some way, also have access to this section of the message boards. Feels weird to me.

[Frankbtl]

Originally Posted by Superheroine

It's also hard to know that people that haven't been abused in some way, also have access to this section of the message boards. Feels weird to me.

Well, some people who haven't been abused might still be able to empathise in some way, some may know/eventually know people who've been abused so it could help their understanding and support to the people they know/people who need that.......so it can be a good thing. And improving understanding out there has to be a good thing, as you may well know personally
As for others who aren't going to "get it"/say things that don't "fit", well........they aren't worth forfeiting the support you can get from people who do "get it"/who can offer the support you might need, by letting them silence you. Abuse/what you've been through matters, YOU matter

Alison

[BrazenApogee]

me too. hi.

[Superheroine]

My T session on Monday seems to have poked the proverbial bear out of hibernation. She kept asking me to think about a specific event from my childhood and it triggered a lot of anxiety that I haven't been able to shake all week. The feeling like I can't breathe. It's paralyzing.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by Superheroine

I don't really want to say much more than that, but I belong here. Sorry that others do too.

Ah, but belonging *here* means we survived and, mostly, thrived. Some of us even broke the abuse cycle and raised happy, well-adjusted kids (I did that and I'm proud of it).

[Frankbtl]

Hi Superheroine,

In part........real kudos to you for managing to take one step further in facing/confronting that event.........and in part I'm really sorry it had so much understandable impact on you
In a way (sometimes) it can be easy to assume that what your T tells you to do is what you "should" do e.g. think about something, or that the T is entitled to ask you to do anything in therapy..........but actually it should be a two-way process, so if they're making you feel pressured in something you have every right to say "I don't feel ready to do that yet", "It's just too painful, right now", "I'm going to need some more help before I do that".........whatever is the case............and that should be respected.
And doing/saying that can even help them more in helping you..........they need to know exactly "where you're at"..........to know better what to do/say to help you...........
So, I'd say maybe next session ask to go back to finding/developing some "coping resources" e.g. grounding, mindfulness exercises to help you when you start going more back to that event..........and that's when you're ready
And right now, , do you think you could try for some of those things that should have been in place before the pressure??
Of course different things work for different people at different times but...........writing things that have happened down, art/craft work to let out those feelings, self-soothing tricks, mindfulness, imagining/visualising locking those thoughts/feelings away for now, breathing exercises, meditation, yoga.............???
But the way you've felt after this..........maybe you've thought going back to those memories/trying to work through this is almost more than you can cope with, feeling as you do now..........please remember that, that doesn't have to be the case
Perhaps with you going a little slower, perhaps with your T and you finding different ways to approach the event, perhaps with developing more coping skills, perhaps with some more support from us ..............over time you are going to find it a little easier. I know there may always be "hard" times when "it's coming back to you", but don't give up on trying to move forward Superheroine



Alison

[Superheroine]

I've been really discouraged. I feel like there is no light at the end of this long and dark tunnel I'm in. My life ended before it started. I've just been going through the motions ever since. So much was taken away from me, I'll never have a normal life, normal relationships. All because of some sicko. Doesn't seem fair.

Sent from my D6503 using Tapatalk

[Frankbtl]

Hi Superheroine,

The life you might have lived, if it hadn't been for............may have ended, but that doesn't mean that this life can't get better, that there can't still be achievement and happiness and beauty in it
Nothing can ever make what happened not have happened but there can, as you move forward with support, be so much more in your life.
Remind yourself that that sicko does not deserve to stop you from claiming the life, the meaningful, enriched life that can still be yours.
I really do know it isn't/won't be "easy" , but under all of this/as you work through it/as you emerge from what happened/the way you're feeling right now, you will find the things that that person/no-one can take from you..........things that can help you on your way.
And Superheroine, you're already showing some of those things..........I know it probably doesn't feel like it, but you are showing so much strength in speaking out about that time/in reaching for recognition and support/in taking a stand against it/in knowing that you deserved and deserve so much more than what happened..........this is not an ending it's just the beginning, and eventually a beginning

Alison