[leomama]

You want to know what makes me furious? When people project their narc parents onto the scars from my flea bites. Instead of having compassion for me that I was attacked by fleas in the first place they see me as the problem because I have flea bite marks. It's not my fault I was abandoned and left to get eaten up by fleas. A compassionate member of my parish saw I was suffering and referred me to a psych doc who dx with me complex PTSD and started treating my fleas with flea medicine! Today I wear a flea collar to keep the fleas off me. In fact I have quite a collection of flea collars. I'm a pit bull and sometimes I'm tempted to go after people who make fun of my scars. *****grrr****

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[snarkydaddy]

Originally Posted by leomama

You want to know what makes me furious? When people project their narc parents onto the scars from my flea bites. Instead of having compassion for me that I was attacked by fleas in the first place they see me as the problem because I have flea bite marks. It's not my fault I was abandoned and left to get eaten up by fleas. A compassionate member of my parish saw I was suffering and referred me to a psych doc who dx with me complex PTSD and started treating my fleas with flea medicine! Today I wear a flea collar to keep the fleas off me. In fact I have quite a collection of flea collars. I'm a pit bull and sometimes I'm tempted to go after people who make fun of my scars. *****grrr****

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I would say that having a flea collars would help How many do you have?

[leomama]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

I would say that having fleas collars would help?

Yes! I never want fleas again. I feel compassion for adult children who have escaped narc families with fleas, flea bites or scars. The last thing I'm going to do is condemn them for something that wasn't their fault .

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[snarkydaddy]

indeed. in a house full of fleas it would be nearly impossible not to acquire a few

[leomama]

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

indeed. in a house full of fleas it would be nearly impossible not to acquire a few

Exactly!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by leomama

You want to know what makes me furious? When people project their narc parents onto the scars from my flea bites. Instead of having compassion for me that I was attacked by fleas in the first place they see me as the problem because I have flea bite marks. It's not my fault I was abandoned and left to get eaten up by fleas. A compassionate member of my parish saw I was suffering and referred me to a psych doc who dx with me complex PTSD and started treating my fleas with flea medicine! Today I wear a flea collar to keep the fleas off me. In fact I have quite a collection of flea collars. I'm a pit bull and sometimes I'm tempted to go after people who make fun of my scars. *****grrr****

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'm sorry you're upset. Can you be more specific about what happened so we can offer support?

Seesaw

[leomama]

Originally Posted by seesaw

I'm sorry you're upset. Can you be more specific about what happened so we can offer support?

Seesaw

I think snarky put it well, when you grow up in a house of fleas its going to be impossible not to get a few yourself.

I'm starting to get into some advocacy work around personality disorders and lets just say its triggering.

I also am beginning to learn that what looks like narc behavior could be bipolar mania so that turns everything on its head.

First I learned that ASD could look like BPD, NPD or psychopathy, then I learned that bipolar mania could look like NPD.
----
I guess what I am trying to say is I'm going to have to learn a whole new level of compassion for people with personality disorders now and I guess the best place to start is with myself, although I no longer have one, I know the pain of having one. I was fortunate to have excellent mental health care and was able to be treated for it. Not everybody is that fortunate.

For example with my narcissistic father, I do want to have a relationship with him, so I do talk with my therapists about how to do that. And Snarky helps me have a relationship with my mom, tells me not to talk to her about anything too serious.

Is that fair? no. Fun? no. But is it the way it is? Yes.

That's the beautiful thing about working the 12 steps you can actually turn back around and have a relationship with your parents.

I think part of it is my spiritual training to where we learn to see ourself in everyone, victim and perpetrator alike.

One of my favorite movies of all times is dead man walking. I always thought that be a very interesting calling, to sit with a man on death row.

In my belief system the only thing that you can not fix is

Possible trigger:

suicide

I'm trying to talk about religious concepts using spiritual language so as not to trigger anyone as I know religion can be a trigger for some, and its hard.