[therealme]

had a meeting today, with my CCA (community care assistent)
normally these meetings are quite relaxed and kool...... talking about music and films, but today he asked me what my views are towards god and things like that...........................
those who remember my story will know why this question has rattled me......... ..................... those who dont know here is a brief history........
when i was younger i was a little terror. the only thing that kept my sane was the fact that i used to serve in the church, with my brother and an older friend.
i used to get on well with my brother and this older friend, so much that i used to stay over at this older friends house, normal i hear you say ......... but he was living with the vicar.
one night i was staying over when this vicar distroyed my faith in god,............
i told my older friend , and all he said was "i know". i hated him for that, he knew and did nothing. i felt ashamed.
i couldnt tell anyone, as i lived in a small village where everyone knows everyone else, and this vicar was well liked by the village people.
i blanked this for nearly 20 years,
i told my community care assistent that i have no trust in god or anything he does...........
but all day now i have been troubled by this question......................

dec

((((((((((((((Dec))))))))))))))))
GOd did not do this, The guy did.
I know its hard to understand why god lets things happen. That i can not answer.
All as I know is if you had not gone threw all this and I am sorry.you have.
But none of us here would know you now. And you are a huge help to lots of ppl here.

I struggled for years with my own faith in God and the amount and type of abuse that happened to me...as a child.

I went to see all different kinds of clergy,, on a quest... because I just could not understand how this could happen to me, why did it happen to me.. until finally one caring person finally got me to realize - that it wasn't because "God" "hated me" - and that is what I thought. I thought that I had been "picked" to go thru this.

My abuse happened because there are bad and evil people in all professions and walks in the life. That people closest to you can betray you - because they have also been hurt and wounded.

I realized that God was with me to give me strength and gave me a strong will that I might survive. If I hadn't had the strong will - I just might not have made it.

I also learned thru the years that because of my experiences, I was able to have a helping impact on other people... and I have done so.

But the struggle to get to this point was long and hard and painful..

And I feel your pain and I am so very sorry.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Dec ))))))))))))))))

[pegasus]

((((((( Dec ))))))))))

I'm sorry this question brought up so much trauma and pain for you.

PM me if you need.

As awful as it is, it would be good for you to talk to someone about this, when you are ready.

Take care.