[Blues066]

My mother has always been very mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive even physically abusive when I was a kid growing up, Now that I am almost 50 years old and having to live with her and my dad, after unexpected circumstances, for the last 2 months, she has been very abusive , mentally and verbally once again. The entire 2 months I have been here.

I have been talking to a friend of mine that lives back in Texas where I moved from that I have know from over 17 years, we had lost contact for a little while, but have been talking again and have picked up right where we left off and things are going great, I have another friend that I have known for 17 years, that I have been talking to again that, I had stopped talking to about 7 years ago, things weren't so great, at that time things ended pretty badly because of some things she had done at the time, but over the last 7 years some things in her life have happened, some serious health issues, one thing being she almost died, and like she said, that really puts your life in perspective, and she got back into contact with me and we have had some very long talks, she has apologized numerous times for the things she did, and we have made a mense in our friendship and been working on putting it back together...

I have decided I am going to move back to Texas after the first of the year, and the two friends I was just talking about are going to make the road trip to come get me and help me move back. I just don't know how I am going to 1) Break it to my Mom that I am moving back to Texas, I know she is going to give me a very hard time and do her normal verbal battering, telling me I am deserting the family, being selfish, not thinking about them, being stupid. you get the idea. 2) The 2nd friend that I have known for 17 years also, she is going to tell me I am totally stupid for having anything to do with her, and I have no backbone for forgiving her and being friends with her again, that I make my bed I lay in it, what I get is what's coming to me, my mom is not a forgiving person, she holds grudges forever. She finds no good in anyone, doesn't matter if she knows someone or not.

I appreciate my parents letting me stay with them and all, but I am almost 50 years old, and one thing my mom has made sure she has done is beat it into my head all these years is when you are an adult you get out on your own and make your own life..but she wants me to make my own life as long a its where she can have her thumb on me. If I do it anywhere else I'm deserting our family. They came to Texas 2 months ago and helped me move to their house here, which I appreciate, and she said I was better off being back here with them that it wasn't good being in Texas that the people there weren't good for me.

I have to do what makes me happy where I am happy.

Any input on how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Blues066: The Skeezyks recalls having replied to one of your previous posts on this subject. (By the way, I'm 68.) I was an only child &, while my mother (who died many years ago now) was not abusive in any way, she clung to me & was greatly disturbed when I moved away & didn't return. (It's all a long story with which I will not bore you.)

Anyway, I believe I do have some sense of your predicament. And I absolutely agree you need to do what makes you happy. I don't know as I have any particularly useful suggestions to offer. From my perspective, this is one of those situations where it simply is what it is. You're moving back to Texas with your friends; & your mother's going to have a bird!

There's no way to sugarcoat this. And imagining that there perhaps could be some way to make it more palatable, if only you could figure it out, simply is going to make you feel more guilty when you cannot come up with anything. So my thinking, with regard to this, is simply do what you have to do. Take your lumps & forge ahead. Perhaps that sounds cold... perhaps it is cold. But, to me, the situation simply is what it is. You're 50 years old. You just need to do what you need to do. I wish you well...

[mimsies]

Don't break it to her and when your friends show up to help you move, go with them and tell her then.

Skeezyks has great advise. I'm sorry you are in this situation. I wish you luck on your move back and your newly rekindled relationships. I hope things go as smoothly and peacefully as possible. Best wishes to you.

[jimmy rich]

[quote=Blues066;5329266
Any input on how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.[/quote]
At 50 y.o., I'd defend myself or MOVE OUT!