<font color="purple"> I know that it's not like I was hurt physicly or mentaly by my own family members, but I do remember being hurt emotionaly by other children when I was still in elementary school.

Yeah, starting about when I was 7, for whatever reason people started alienating me for no reason at all. Aside from my group of "friends" (who really I had absolutely nothing in comon with but liked to be with them anyways because they were the only people nice to me) people either ignored me on purpose or harassed me. It was as if their logic was "because I don't talk much then I obviously never learned how to talk and wouldn't understand them anyways"

A few memories that I have are:

once, I brought my beanie babies into school (I LOVED my beanie babies back then) to show every one, and then a few of the older kids took them away from me and tossed them around and wouldn't give them back to me no matter how much I ran around after them and cried and told them to give them back.

When I was on the buss they would always make nasty remarks about how I "never took care of my hair" which was a lie- my hair was just really curly, and how once a girl remarked "You will never have a boyfriend, get married..." and well, alot of other things that were important in life. Also it was a general rule that nobody will sit next to me. Ever. (although that kind of had it's advantage because while everybody else was backed 3-in-a-seat I got to stretch out)

For some reason, I was like toxic waste and NOBODY wanted me to touch them, wither it be a hug, handshake, pat, whatever. Pwople would go at great legnths NOT to touch me. And a few older girls would actualy threaten (and try to) smack me with their backpacks/lunchbags/anything on hand if I touched them. This turned into me own little game though as I would quickly tap them and run around so I could dodge being hit, or just chasing people around.

Whenever I walked by, the other kids would pretend that it was an earthquake, even though back then I was BARELY overweight.

I also TRIED to fight with another kid on the playground because he kept on picking on me, but he was just too fast for me. When the teacher pulled us aside after recess and I explained what happened she yelled at the boy.

I remember breaking down in gym class crying, and when the teacher asked what's wrong, the only thing I could say was "nobody loves me" which lead to every single kid in the class going up to me and giving me hugs (on their own!) and saying that they loved me. Of course, this didn't last long as the verbal abuse lasted until well into middleschool and then I moved to the school that I'm going to right now.

So far, since then I've only been through a small bit of abuse there, only a couple of snotty girls once in awhile and this one girl on the bus. But I have forgiven her as she had a valid excuse for being mean to me- she's bipolar and the side effects of her new medication made her mean. Although twice there were unpleasent memories triggered. The first being when for a week or two on the bus nobody would allow me to sit with them (excluding my older brother) and another time when this girl gave me a fake love letter from a boy in school. (oh yes, I've dealt with this alot and it gives me mixed feelings every time because if it's a trick then I don't want to fall for it, but if it's not I don't want to break the poor guy's heart.)

Recalling such memories really makes me feel more unpleasent then relieved, but I just wanted to get it out ther- you know? I'm sure this kind of thing is nothing compared to the other forms of abuse other members of PC have suffered but "regardless of wether the only thing you have done in your life was stub your toe or if you fell off of a cliff and broke all the bones in your body- it's still the most pain that you have ever felt in your life"</font>

[silentlyscreaming]

((((((((((Kaika))))))))))

I know exactly how you feel. I was traeted like the plague when I was at school as well.
My friends weren't really friends.....we were the rejects that sat together, maybe it was because of th whole safety in numbers thing.
Kids can be so cruel.
Its been 7 years since I left school, and I still avoid the places where the 'popular' people hang out.
I've heard that the real ***** from school is now jobless, and extremely overweight.
Karma always catches up!!!
You'll find great people out there, I promise.
Hang in there.