[silentlyscreaming]

His face is burnt in the back of my eyelids...............every time I close my eyes, he's there..........I feel his sweaty, rough hands...tearing at my clothes...prodding at my skin..........fingers closing around my throat........whispered threats in my ear..........breath reeking of alcohol.........dry lips pressed hard against mine..........me, pleading......pleading........STOP!!!!.........you're hurting me.............

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST KILL ME???!!!???

I've seen you around since, with your girlfriend, with your child, and I hate you more.............

((sooo glad he didn't.. for you.. and for me))



and I hate him too.. for what he did...

[mtd]

I know these feelings. The horror of what was done. How vicious the memories are. The disbelief in seeing a hypocrite who acts like he didn't do anything, like he can be normal, like he can fool everyone.

As much as I know these feelings, I also want you to know that there is hope. You are not alone and you can heal. It takes time and effort and tears, but with help and support of each other, we can survive.

Be well,

mtd

[agony007]

i know how u guys feel... it's just plain disgusting how they can walk around as if they are innocent!! and even smile in your face!!

I agree with MTD.. there is hope to heal. take all the time u need.. and though u can never forget and u can learn to cope.

if u ever need to chat i am available.

take care- all the best

[rawrr]

I know exactly how you feel.
I am still in highschool.
I was raped at a party, and i was forced to see my rapist every day at school.
it hurt me more and more every time.
he acts as if nothing happened.
gives me those looks just to taunt me.
just to remind me that he has power over me.
he might as well just have killed me.
i would have preffered it.
Now hes graduated, and the only time i have to see him is in court.
and it hurts more and more every time i see him
his smug look.
reminds me of that night.
wehn he looks at me, with those black emotionless, soulless eyes, i see what happened that night.
i feel the pain he introduced me to.
and the cycle starts over once again. <font color="red"> </font> <font color="red"> </font>

[pachyderm]

hatewhoivebecome:

> his smug look

I wonder if you could imagine something else behind that... that he is not smug and confident at all -- just pretending. Just faking. Maybe there's no "confidence" there at all. Maybe, if you could know that, you wouldn't feel so bad. Maybe.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((silentlyscreaming))))

I hear you and I am so sorry. I understand the pleading, the hands, the breath cutting off, the threats, the words,--you are not alone. I am so sorry you had to endure that and I hope you know it was not your fault. My heart goes out to you and I send you a gentle hug and lots of good thoughts. Take care of you and be kind to yourself. You deserve to be heard and listened to. And that I am doing anytime you need someone to talk to--please feel free to pm me. Keep screaming--keep reaching--we hear you.

camilionwords1truth