I'm scared to let anyone get close (Triggering)

I keep dreaming about My cousin Who sexually,and verbally abused me.it was My fault in a way I had no place to go I was only 16 but I got to be on My own cause My Mother was
in jail and I didn't have nobody else at the moment but He also thought I was a slut who would sleep with anyone and really took atvantage about me also he had me cleaning his house and doing laundry and he would beat me alot,yelling also I hate it when ppl. throw things in ur face about the things he made me did in the past I hated when he wanted me to sell my body and he too all the money that was a horrible thing.I take as many showers as I can I will nerver feel clean.I hate me I'm sorry
I get bad dreams still and I still get recocnized now I don't trust nobody the only person who knows is My old therapist I dont know this therapist all that good and he said after 3 years no more therapy I'm scared to trust another person my life is not stable.I have to learn like a baby does I guess except I know the risk
Crista

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I feel your pain and mistrust of people, for I too have been through the sexual abuse and being took for another's sick pleasure.... please know that it is OK that you do not trust so easily right now - for I too have learned to make one earn my trust before I give it away.... and very few have earned that right to my trust - since it was broken.
The more we HEAL the more we will TRUST....and yes, we can be selective to whom we will or will not trust.... its OK to have your own opinion in this matter.

Please know that you (or any other sexually abuse victim) was NEVER at fault for what happened to them.... you being born female does not give some one else the right to take what they want - your body is your GIFT to offer as you will, to whom you will.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( love )))

((((((((((( tita )))))))))))

(((tita)))

I understand your mistrust of others as well... I think most all here who are survivors of some sort of abuse have the same issues to deal with. Just remember that as rhapsody said, through your healing you will be able to begin to trust again.

thanks for hearing me out last nite but I'm still getting the same problems the trust problem
thanks for listening to me.
Love Crista

Trust takes a lot of time... in the case of abuse it's normal if it takes years. Hang in there, I know you will!

I am sooo sorry you are having such a difficult time. There is no set "times up" button, and our memories are forgotten, or really even paused for a long time. It a struggle every minute of every day. I am 39 y.o., and haven't gotten past any of it. I will keep you close to my heart!!