If...I could just be allowed to change what happened to me...

If... I could just in one of those flashback moments, change the outcome.. and make my past different.

If ..I could just have had one of the people who abused me.. just to have not done it

If.. I could just have had a choice of the treatment of my own body..

If.. one of them had done a mercy killing... of me..

If.. I could have chosen to not have been born at all

If.. I could have chosen death over what did happen

I would not be in such great.. overwhemling.. speechless... pain tonight..

((((((((((((((((((freewill))))))))))))))))))))))

I hear you loud and clear. But you are a survivor, we can get through this together maybe. pm me anytime, i care.

love you, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( freewill ))))))))))))))))

[recluse1]

((((((freewill))))))) i am so sorry you are so sad tonight. and i hope you wont beat yourself up with the should've, would've, and could've things. we can't change our pasts but we can continue to try and improve our futures. we just have to continue to fight and when you are too tired you can rest and sit a while with me.

i pray you strength and healing.

recluse1

[mtd]

freewill,

I know and understand your pain. I wish neither of us had lived this past and this present.

Please know tonight that you are not alone. Together we can work to heal from our shared pasts. We should never have been put here, I know, but we most certainly can triumph over the treatment we got as children that was designed to destroy us.

We are surviving, and the fact that we are is among the greatest tributes to the strength of the human spirit. Together, we can do this.

be well,

mtd