[AMK64]

my mom was emotionally abusive my whole life and now that I'm a young adult I have gotten progressivley more afraid of people. I am always trying to please people, I am nice to the point of being like annoying. I try to be what people want me to be and say what people want me to say. the big thing with my mom is that she would always scream and yell and over react to everything I would ever ask and now I guess I fear that and I expect it? does that sound plausible to anyone?

[Skeezyks]

Sure this makes sense to me. I'm 69 years old now! And I think I'm still affected to some extent by my upbringing.

[Spiral2018]

It sounds very plausible to me. I am a people pleaser too, and can trace it back to my mother. She was very emotionally erratic and you never knew when she would lose it. She could be loving and fine, then horrible the next minute. I was afraid of her and did my best to stay in her good books. I was her favourite out of two girls, and I am sure that was not good for me. I learned to fit in and around her, to shape myself to her emotions. As women we learn to please from a very early age, and asking for what we want is very hard. Add an emotionally abusive parent and you can end up putting your own self on the back seat all your life. As I have. I married an emotionally abusive man and have spent 27 years trying to please him as i tried to please my mother.
I think having the insights into how this dynamic works, from a young age - and you say you are a young adult - is good. The more you understand what happened the more you can save yourself from falling into the same emotional patterns with others.
Being 'nice'all the time when you don't want to be plays havoc with your psyche. I wish you well with your efforts to understand and overcome.

[Fuzzybear]