"You have to work on yourself."

For everyone here, how does this statement make you guys feel when you hear it? Because I know a lot of us here have been working on ourselves by going to therapy and trying to love ourselves after our abuse.

Does this statement make you feel invalidated?

It makes me feel super invalidated, like the years I spent working on myself don't matter.

It makes me feel even worse from people who just say it like it's nothing.

I'm just feeling really sad right now, like I'll be working on myself till the day I die.

I do think this comes across as an invalidating statement.

If people say that as if it's nothing, they just don't get it

I'm sorry someone has been an invalidating *****

That is very invalidating! It's hurts to hear it. I know. (((Hug)))

It's right up there with, "When do you think you can just lay this down and move on?"

Right?!

I want to ask them, "What in the heck do you think I've been doing for the past 4 years?"

They truly just don't get it!!

I think it can be very invalidating. At the same time I think it is also true.
Childhood abuse is a childhood of destruction instead of a childhood of positive development towards adulthood. I think it does take a lifetime of self work to overcome it. The more work we do the greater we can heal. I don't think it ever stops.

I find those words to be invalidating, hurtful, and so tiresome. I know that I need to work upon myself. I've been trying hard for the past 25+ years, at least! I am tired of trying everything that I can to fix myself already. I'm sorry that I grew up in a messy situation with crappy company. I'm doing the best that I can... *sigh*

((((hugs))))) to you starryprince.

Very invalidating. Soo painful and unfair.