Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

I don't know how to get past what happened to me. I only see pain and struggle. I feel like a robot going through the motions but not feeling anything. I hold down a job but live in fear.

Therapy can help with PTSD. Fear pain and struggle doesn't have to be all that there is.

I agree! It can be done. PTSD is so tough, I am feeling similarly to you but it does get better and the fear does subside in time and with proactive exposure to the world in which we live.. There are good people out there who feel the fear the same way you do...

Another thing that can be beneficial since it sounds as if it were physical in nature, is self defense classes. Once you know how to defend yourself, you can feel assured in the knowledge nobody will be able to easily overtake you again. It will help you regain a bit of self confidence as well.

Thank you for responding. I started Judo about 4 or 5 years ago. Still some men or so big and I am small.

I agree. I just added it in there. It actually is not something I have ever taken solace in personally, but I know many that do. The counseling does work, but for me it only worked to a degree. I had to do things to get my "haunting memories out".

I wrote poetry.
Played my violin.
Journaled.
Wrote "letters" that would never be mailed detailing how I was before the event, what occurred during the event (in detail), how I was feeling during the event (in detail), how it still affects me, and what it is I would need to have happen or said in order to move on

I also did things to fight the anxiety itself
Inhale lavender essential oil
Diaphragm breathing
Muscle relaxation
Visualization
Relaxing music

When I was out in public and it started, I would do the diaphragm breathing, look away from whatever triggered me, move past it while counting and concentrating on my counting

Those are the ways I found, not sure if they will work for you. I don't hear them mentioned much for PTSD which is why I said self defense instead. Maybe this will shed more light though.

Good luck.

*hugs*