[Depressed-Fiance]

Why do narcissists move on so quickly from a relationship after it has ended?

My ex-fiancé did this to me and within one month after splitting up she joined a dating website (I know this through a friend who told me.)

She even wrote on her dating profile that she has been 'badly treated' in her last relationships and was looking for someone who would treat her well.

Six months on and I'm still not feeling myself after the way she treated me and ended things so abruptly. I feel 'damaged' by her actions.

[Evee718]

Narcissist creates their own reality. They care about no one else but themselves. The best thing to do is take care of yourself. Occupy yourself with positive thoughts, hobbies, events anything that will make you feel better.

[nicoleflynn]

Narcissists have no conscience;so there really isn't any answer to your question, sadly.

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

Narcissists have no conscience;so there really isn't any answer to your question, sadly.

That has actually helped me, your first part of your response thank you.

It's suddenly made sense to me, they don't have a conscience and that is why they 'devalue and drop' so quickly and painfully (to the victim.)

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

Narcissists have no conscience;so there really isn't any answer to your question, sadly.

True. They lack the ability to view another person a human being with feelings and needs. They are all about "what can I get out of you?" You are innanimate object.

Now he/she has added that you were abusive to her bag of tricks and gets a free ride on the pity train.

I'm sorry that you are hurting right now. My wish for you is that you recover, learn from this experience and find a partner who values and deserves you.

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

True. They lack the ability to view another person a human being with feelings and needs. They are all about "what can I get out of you?" You are innanimate object.

Now he/she has added that you were abusive to her bag of tricks and gets a free ride on the pity train.

I'm sorry that you are hurting right now. My wish for you is that you recover, learn from this experience and find a partner who values and deserves you.

Thank you for taking the time to detail about narcissists traits and tendencies, it has helped me gain a lot more understanding of the matter.

She was very much a 'user' and I felt like a walking ATM machine where she tried to squeeze as much money out of me as she could.

[Fuzzybear]

It's all about "what can I get out of you" for them, completely agree.
Use, devalue and discard

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

It's all about "what can I get out of you" for them, completely agree.
Use, devalue and discard

I very much agree with this. This is exactly how I felt and I do feel used by her in that sense.

She never showed any remorse at the end and just discarded me in a hard and cold manner.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Depressed-Fiance

I very much agree with this. This is exactly how I felt and I do feel used by her in that sense.

She never showed any remorse at the end and just discarded me in a hard and cold manner.

Sadly that behaviour is all too familiar to me. I'm sorry you've experienced this. It can be, and is, very confusing and hurtful

Educating yourself will allow you not to blame yourself for her .. behaviour.

The way I understand it, they can't develop an emotional connection to anyone. I think that's probably why it's so easy for them to move on - they were never invested in the relationship anyway, just using it for what they can get.

[Kruick]

Narcissists thrive on control. All of your reactions only make them feel more important than you. They think that nobody else in the world is better than them, and thrive on the attention you give them. Positive or negative, they seek to control and undermine you.

Why is a self-proclaimed narcissist in charge of America's Military? The person who feels good about firing people? It is a fact that every tyrant in history was indeed a narcissist.

As were the Slave Owners before the Civil War. They just said "awe, we can't rape/torture/enslave/murder anymore, what can we do to everyone who's still alive?"...

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by Kruick

Narcissists thrive on control. All of your reactions only make them feel more important than you. They think that nobody else in the world is better than them, and thrive on the attention you give them. Positive or negative, they seek to control and undermine you.

I actually think you have nailed it on the head. It really is all about control for the Narcissist.

Something I realised in my last relationship was that slowly she undermined me, began to control and her mood fluctuated at the flick of a switch.

It's amazing in a way just how much we can learn about Narcism as if you are unfortunate enough to be a victim to one then you can very much see how the mould 'fits' from their behaviour.

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by ShareYourStory

The way I understand it, they can't develop an emotional connection to anyone. I think that's probably why it's so easy for them to move on - they were never invested in the relationship anyway, just using it for what they can get.

You are spot on!!

I think that they simply put just use and abuse the victim so that the victim is there to serve the Narcissists toxic needs.

[Depressed-Fiance]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Sadly that behaviour is all too familiar to me. I'm sorry you've experienced this. It can be, and is, very confusing and hurtful

Educating yourself will allow you not to blame yourself for her .. behaviour.

Aww, thanks for your lovely response, made me feel better.