Emotional Abuse and my struggles

When I was in a relationship with my ex boyfriend, there were times he was indeed very emotionally abusive towards me and put me down. Now anytime someone puts me down.... I end up standing up for myself. Especially if their calling me names and putting me down. My self esteem got done so low due to emotional abuse and I went into hiding for quite awhile because I had a hard time trusting people and being around others because I was so afraid of getting abused again. It seems anytime I get in one of these situations, I'm brought back to when I was getting abused by him and I feel the pain all over again. So I have to remind myself that I'm not getting abused and that I'm safe.

I'm not into hiding anymore and I do go outside and love being around nature. Anytime I'm around nature, I'm very happy. Know I can't control on how others are going to be towards myself and others who are around me. Today is one of those rough days and I hope things get better for me today. I really do. I hate feeling this way...

I understand about the emotional abuse because I'm going through the same thing now. He wants me at home doing everything and if I feel like I look ok or I'm feeling like doing this etc, he will bring me down to the point I no longer do what I normally would. years later he doesn't have to even say or do that much for me to just "give in".
I hope when I have the strength to actually leave, I won't continue the "giving in" and take this into another relationship. its baggage.
what new situations are you finding yourself in where you feel similar to how you felt in your relationship?? is it new relationships or day to day??

It's mostly people who I meet and end up putting me down. I know I shouldn't let it get me down since they barely know me... but sometimes I can't help it since I was abused. My therapist has helped me a lot and I've gotten stronger. It's just one of those days for me since I've been called crazy and it's something my ex used to say to me.

I'd be crying or upset by him putting me down and he'd call me crazy or that I had issues. When someone who loves you puts you down and calls you horrible names, it's wrong. I know I could never do this to another human being based on what I've been through.

Sometimes I feel as if people can tell that I'm an easy target since my heart is very big and I care about a lot of people. So I get cautious around others sometimes. Hopefully I'll end up getting over this and I know I will soon. It just kinda hurt. =\ And I hope you end up getting away from him soon.

omg this is me. His favourite thing to do and say is give me these crazy eyes and call me mental. I absolutely hate when he says it to me because I'm a great mom, cook great meals, keep the house clean and pay and keep all bills under control. don't get me wrong, I have my days where I can't get out of bed but I'm doing so much better with that.
Also what you said about having a big heart and being an easy target. I will say I have a big heart but I put a mask on in front of people in supermarket and especially our neighbours. They have taken it the wrong way, where they think I think I'm something special. so they hate my guts. banging their bins, slamming their doors and swinging their gates constantly.
I suffer already with anxiety and panic attacks do if I hear a door slam etc I just get the worse anxiety which leads to a panic attack.
I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow because it's too much!! really hope you start doing better amethyst, with your self esteem. its so hard to change the way of thinking and believe me, I kno! x

Omg, that's horrible and I'm sorry he calls you that. I've been called mental before and it hurts a lot. Trust me, you are a great mother and do a lot for the family. The reason abusers do this is to try to gain control over you. So they put you down so you end up doubting yourself and depressed. Everyone has days where they'll sleep. Especially when their feeling down and depressed or worn out from doing everything.

I get days like that myself and I took a nap after I posted on here because I know I needed to clear my head from being "crazy" earlier. I'm glad you responded to my thread and I'll do the same for you if you ever are having a bad day.

Many people take things the wrong way and never seem to ask. Assuming something is horrible. I've always been told to ask people questions if I need to ask them something and putting on a mask is pretty normal for everyone to do. When I'm sad, I tend to do the same thing because I hate revealing my personal life to people. So I feel comfortable coming here where I can express myself. I still continue to care about people though even if their mean towards me because I believe in Karma.

How are you anxiety attacks now? I hope your seeing a doctor for them. I'm starting to improve on my self esteem which is good. A few years ago it was worse and I couldn't even wear a dress and I used to put a lot of make up on. Now I love dressing up and I love having the natural look now.

The only thing I suffer with now is when people call me names. That hurts me horribly and I hope things get better with that soon where I can walk away without even letting it get to me.