[ACrystalGem]

Sometimes I'm shaken by the thought of what happened to me. I've pushed down the memories for so long, that it feels like a sudden revelation, and thoughts go through my head like:

"X abused me!"
"Why did they hurt me?"
"They must of really hated me."

I've been dealing with being a sexual abuse & domestic violence survivor for the past 25 years (I'm 48). Why does it feel like I'm just realising it for the 1st time? I know what happened already. I've accepted it (mostly). So why does this keep happening?

[mostlylurking]

Personally, I find that there's a huge difference between knowing something in my head, and realizing it in my heart. You may know what happened and you may accept that it really did happen, in the sense of not denying it in your rational mind. But realizing things emotionally may still leave you reeling, because that's such a different process. You may be realizing things that have never been dealt with emotionally, no matter how much they might have been thought about rationally. Perhaps that's a way to look at it?

I feel like I'm a pretty thoughtful and introspective person -- even obsessively thoughtful at times -- but there was a lot that had sat submerged emotionally for me, until I started therapy.

[BLUEDOVE]

Wait. I've discovered all sorts of things,and thought "Jesus!",but
they never really affected me until some time later,when my
subconscious deemed it time for me to FEEL them; only then did I benefit.
Blessings,
BLUEDOVE

[benzenering]

Abuse I suffered from my X 20 years ago rears its ugly head from time to time. Yep, I stuff it down, too, but I get flashbacks. I have walked through what happened with my counselor (he's the only other one to know) and it helped to share.