[lizardlady]

Are any of the rest of you struggling with all the sexual abuse allegations in the news lately? I'm struggling to not come apart at the seams - literally. My Little One (an integrated alter) has been freaking out. I avoid the news to avoid the triggers.

I never told anyone about much of the abuse. I've reached a point that I'm ready to start admitting it. I'm not going to just toss it into conversations, but I'm not going to hide it anymore.

Back to my original question - any of you having difficulty with the news lately?

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

I quit watching it long ago but when I am forced to for whatever reason I don't take it seriously anymore. For instance, I am convinced all these allegations have to do with trying to weaken the President's influence and/or assist in possibly getting him impeached. I find it awfully odd how so many all the sudden remember or decide to come forward after so many years. I find it odd how the accused all tend to voluntarily step down and/or apologize without so much as one challenge - all except one who is being railroaded every which way but loose. I can understand 3 or 4 accusers ... maybe even 5... But how many are we at now? I lost count. This just wreaks of hoax to me. Maybe I am wrong as to the reason for the hoax but I still say it is a hoax n the accused are being threatened or bribed in some way. So - I pay it as much attention as I do Law n Order SVU, even less actually bc there is no plot to this.

[unaluna]

I dont think an end result will be anything better for women. We're just pawns in the game. Some men will be "punished" - these guys are already million and billionaires, so not really punished - and women will have shown they need more protection and cant defend themselves, so we are going to pay for THAT.

I know thats not really what youre asking, but more and more i think us old people just die of a broken heart.

I disconnected from the news years ago.

[Nammu]

Its bothering me. I turn the news off. What gets me is the number of women who don't get it and think it's fake.

[Open Eyes]

I dont think an end result will be anything better for women.

I don't know, it's hard because "some" women might accuse in hopes to get money too.
Women can be narcissistic predators too.

[Open Eyes]

As far as the news is concerned? I think that what has evolved when it comes to the news/media is more "opinion based and often can be very biased to the point that evokes fear and emotional upset" where it can actually get triggering for some to sit and watch or even read because if one gets on their computer now, it's at the point where the headlines scream anger and shock and awe. Who needs that?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

I don't know, it's hard because "some" women might accuse in hopes to get money too.
Women can be narcissistic predators too.

What i was trying to say is, while it may stop some men from aggressing against women in this one particular way, it wont be magically replaced by some universal chivalrous act to benefit women.

And if you want to say the same is true, that women in power abuse men, i think that situation is not going to magically improve either.

Some people will be taken down. But no one will be lifted up.

[lizardlady]

I did not ask my question correctly.....

I'm struggling with the old stuff that is bubbling to the surface. If that is happening to you, how are you coping?

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I never told anyone about much of the abuse. I've reached a point that I'm ready to start admitting it...not going to hide it anymore.

I do not have sexual abuse in my past, but I am definitely growing weary of the current feeding frenzy in the media. However, my reason for posting here is to let you know you have nothing either to admit or to hide since you had done no wrong.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Yes, definitely. I have to ignore it as much as possible to function. And I'm keeping my eyes open for a job in a non USA country.

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I did not ask my question correctly.....

I'm struggling with the old stuff that is bubbling to the surface. If that is happening to you, how are you coping?

FWIW it's quite common for things like this to cause a surge in people asking for help from therapists and the MH services in charities in England, because things in the media unlock bad memories. Here in England, there was a long spate of very well known children's entertainers from TV in the 1970s and 1980s who were exposed as pederasts. Some of the worst only after they'd died. There was a lot of brow beating about why no one did anything at the time as many suspected and in some cases, there was suppressed evidence. I was working in the NHS at the time. We all commented on the rise in consultations and need, because it reminded so many people of things they thought they'd forgotten. Or never acknowledged.

While that isn't applicable to me, all I would say from listening to people talk (including professionals), is to own your feelings. Don't push them away. Avoiding the media isn't always a bad thing, but it is if you are avoiding an issue it sparks for you. Suppression is never healthy. Some people took to reading everything they could find, and then decided if X could admit it it happening and get help (often a famous child celebrity), then they could too.

All I can say Liz, is having read and loved your posts on here for many years, is that my heart goes out to you and wishes that this is the start of healing and peace.

When I watch TV in the evening with my H, I tell him, "Let's watch anything but the news a lot."

During college and after graduation prior to getting married, there were some uncomfortable situations that I handled badly and kept it all to myself. I would feel sympathetic towards the person who violated my space! If this conversation had been happening back then, I might have turned them in (not to the police--they were not crimes) to someone in the workplace. But maybe that would have been worse on me. For these women to have to endure so much media scrutiny must be torturous.

I do wish I had talked to a friend about it. One of the best things about getting married was that it felt like men were no longer testing me to see if I was easy (this did not happen often but it did happen).

I find that the news is making me revisit memories that are more than 30 years old and say to myself, "I wish I would have handled some of it differently." The underlying problem was that I would be surprised by some of it, not know how to react (other than run or freeze) and then be to shy and embarrassed to talk about it.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Your question was not lost on me but perhaps my response was on you bc I went into too much detail.

I was basically saying it does not bother me bc I generally do not listen to the news but when I do, I do not even take the news as factual anymore but more like a popular reality TV show. Then I went into my reasons why. ❤

[RubyRae]

The news is really getting to me.It makes me want to shout from the freaking rooftops what was done to me.

I am seriously consdering outing the doctor in town that sexually abused me.I want to find out how many other women he abused and have them come forward with me.I just don't know how to go about doing that.

[RubyRae]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I did not ask my question correctly.....

I'm struggling with the old stuff that is bubbling to the surface. If that is happening to you, how are you coping?

I am strggling too,not just with the doctor I mentioned in above post but also stuff from childhood.

I am not coping well with it.I feel so much rage surging through my veins.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

The news is really getting to me.It makes me want to shout from the freaking rooftops what was done to me.

I am seriously consdering outing the doctor in town that sexually abused me.I want to find out how many other women he abused and have them come forward with me.I just don't know how to go about doing that.

You should out him/her. If he/she is still practicing you can report it to the AMA. Go to this site for help on doing that.

https://www.realsimple.com/health/fi...ut-your-doctor

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I did not ask my question correctly.....

I'm struggling with the old stuff that is bubbling to the surface. If that is happening to you, how are you coping?

Mostly i think about losing my freedom. Is someone going to come and deport me to who knows where? For whatever reason? Its like, an atom bomb would almost be more welcome.

Because the bad guys are winning, the bad guys are in charge.

[Open Eyes]

Actually Liz, I did post some things I had experienced myself that all the things going on reminded me of that happened to me. I ended up deleting because I thought what I shared may have been too much and may have triggered someone else.

When the news talks about things that happened 20 or even thirty years ago, well, the culture was actually different and it was not so easy to "tell" either. It bothers me how so many comment on how long it took for different women to come forward and it must not have been all that bad and they moved on with their lives so let it go. What I deleted I remembered in a lot of detail just like it happened yesterday so things most definitely can stay with a person their entire life like that.

Also, when Trump said what was caught on tape was "locker room talk", and people insisted that did not happen that men did not talk like that YES THEY MOST CERTAINLY DID, especially guys involved with sports (jocks). When he said, "and they LET you", I saw that happen too, and that made it harder for me because I did not behave that way. So the women that "let" and "engage" and chase and are aggressive do make it harder for those who don't because men can get so they honestly think that's what most women are like, ESPECIALLY if they have any kind of popularity or power.

Being in the entertainment business and being on stage in night clubs, I saw things that made my jaw drop and YES I came across men like Weinstein, and then the men that had wealth most definitely had women chasing after them and they grew to think most women just wanted them. Honestly, how do you think Howard Stern became number one and got so popular and became rich off of his radio show which pretty much WAS nothing but nasty locker room talk and ALL THE WOMEN that engage him, even his side kick was a woman. Did anyone hear Franken say, "I was a comedian, yes I did that and
it was funny". What do you think the Playboy Mansion was all about? Did you ever see Robin Williams live on stage?

I am older and when I read an excerpt from a book Trump had written and he talked about some of the things that shocked him and studio 54, while I never went there I HAD SEEN some crazy stuff. I ended up giving that life up because it was just too much for me to handle at the young age I was and what I had been dealing with, and I most definitely saw women go along with some crazy things. For me, seeing all that frightened me so I just ended up walking away from it.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Just so you know any thing you think may trigger someone

do this
(TRIGGER) type message here (/TRIGGER)
but replace the ( and ) with [ and ]

That way it hides the message so people can decide to look at it or not

Like this

Possible trigger:

type message here

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Also, its not that I don't believe some of the allegations to be true - but I also believe some of the accusers have either (a) been paid to make the accusations or compensated in some other way or (b) just want some "fame" - reasons for (a) could be to help get Trump out of office or to help water down the true allegations by letting the false ones be known as false later thereby making the true ones seem less believable too.

I believe this way not simply bc of the number of tears it has been but also bc of the amount of people which keep coming forward - it is similar to "mob mentality" to me.

[Open Eyes]

Anything is possible Crypts. In some cases it could be that a person coming forward is being paid to do so, especially when it comes to how cut throat the political arena can get.

More recently we actually get to see how it really doesn't matter which leaning, even when it comes to the media because these predators really are in all different kinds of places.

Yet, the news, especially my home page tends to be a constant stream lately of children being victims of terrible things and I find myself wishing I could have some kind of block so I can't see all those stories.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

If it is FaceBook - if you refuse to click on that specific sender (sometimes I get posts from ppl not on my friend list) after a few posts, that sender stops, but if you click on even one you will be bombarded for days after you stop clicking on them

[Open Eyes]

No, I don't do Facebook, never have. I am talking about my homepage on my computer that has all the news.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Can you delete the news program? Or put it in the background..