[IFeelBroken]

This is scary but okay here goes... My mom has always been quick to hit me but I wouldn't call it abuse. I don't ever remember a time when my dad has hit me. He has however told me to kill myself, called me pathetic, a bad artist, gives my sister everything she wants then calls me needy, calls me pathetic and fake, and a bunch of other **** like that and its scary and annoying and it really hurts. He also denies everything he has said to me that is bad. I think its abuse but he disagrees of course(he read through my texts as well and controls my phone, room, girlfriends, shopping, friends, and other stuff that i should be able to help control). He also threatened to send me to a mental hospital. I cut deep the other day and almost had to get stitches and then they started leaving me at home by myself and when i asked my mom why she said we were tired of babysitting you, which that has something my dad would say all over it. So, is this abuse? And how can I get away from it? I'm only 14 this shouldn't be happening.

[PsychoPhil]

What you decribe fits the pattern of narcissistic abuse, with your father the narcissist, your sister the golden child and you the scapegoat. Your mom is abusing you physically.

You deserve better and should not be going through this.

This video explains typical roles in toxic families:

[nicoleflynn]

This is physical and verbal abuse. The Verbally Abusive Relaltionship by Patricia Evans is a book I strongly recommend. You could talk to a counselor at your school.

[mostlylurking]

It sounds like both physical and verbal / emotional abuse. Please know that it's nothing in you that is causing your father to behave that way, it's mental issues within himself. It suits him to pick on you due to psychological problems of his own, but a mentally healthy father would never call his child fake and pathetic or say you ought to kill yourself.

It can be really, really tough to find compassion for yourself when you're among people who are lacking it themselves. It's something I've needed help with myself and I'm a few decades old than you are. Can you consider talking to your school counselor, to a friend who feels nonjudgemental and safe, or even to a good friend's parent? You might also try YouTube videos like the It Gets Better series, or try seeing if your school or local library has any self-help books. I'm pretty sure your parents were just making threats when they mentioned a mental hospital, but would they allow you to see a therapist? You could also private message me if you'd like, I am a mom to two teenagers.

Please hang in there, the days go slowly when you're 14 but life does improve later for a great many of us (myself most definitely included).

[Nike007]

Yes, that is abuse. Both physical and emotional. I have been a victim of emotional abuse, and I can only say that it gets better when you get away and they can't control you anymore. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Talking to a counselor in school would be good. I did talk to a social worker throughout all of high school. If you do tell them about the abuse, they have to report it, as you are a minor. I am just letting you know. The self harm piece they may tell your parents about too. I am not 100% sure, as I have never self-harmed in high school.

When I was really suicidal, a teacher told my mom, who was/still is my emotional abuser, and she picked me up and took me to the hospital. I was really ashamed of myself when I was with her for feeling this way...