[LadyShadow]

I don't know if I should put this here or not, so please moderators, either remove it if you think it is too upsetting, or move it if its not in the right place.

I thought I would put this thread here, because of the Rose McGowan story. She has become such a powerful voice and activist in recent months, and was one of the first people to bring down the Harvey Weinstein film mogul, and because of her braveness, movements like #MeToo and #TimesUp have sprouted, giving women the voice they always felt was silenced by men in power, especially Hollywood.

I don't really know how anyone on this forum feels about what is happening lately, because I haven't really seen a thread about it, but feel free to comment on the whole phenomenon if you choose to. It would be nice to hear the opinions of you brave survivors.

But the real reason for this thread is that my heart broke into a million pieces when I heard that Jill Messick, Rose McGowan's former manager and former liason between Weinstein and McGowan

Possible trigger:

took her life at the tender age of 50 last night

According to her family, she had been suffering with depression, and seeing her name splattered all over the news, for what seems like months now, in an ongoing, nasty, "he said she said" battle between McGowan and Weinstein, she buckled under the pressure. The ironic thing is she was totally on McGowan's side when the original incident happened, and even pushed for justice, but at that time, her voice wasn't loud enough to make things happen, like so many other women's voices at that time.

I am all for justice. I am all for coming out and taking down abusers. I am behind #MeToo and #TimesUp, but.....at what cost? I guess I don't have any answers, or I don't even know what the solution is, but Mrs. Messick's family is holding both Rose McGowan and Harvey Weinstein responsible for what happened to her.

I don't know why, but when I heard this story, my heart broke into a million pieces. It almost seems like a form of bullying and character defamation, taken to the extreme, to a person that was fragile to begin with.

I will light a candle in honor for her tonight, even though I didn't even know her, but I sure know what it is like to be caught in the middle of something that hurts me.

[childofchaos831]

Thank you for sharing this. I don't follow any mainstream or celebrity news outlets, because it effects my mood and only upsets me. Most of my news I get from friends by word of mouth or shared stories on Facebook. I had not heard of this, and I am definitely holding her family in my thoughts right now.

[Open Eyes]

Unfortunately, in that world of entertainment not everyone knows the hidden challenges that so many of these stars face behind the scenes. Someone like Weinstein can have successful actors and actresses and can be part of creating movies that are very successful and yet, some of these individuals can be toxic in ways not everyone experiences. For example, Meryl Streep has been very successful and respected and was often involved with Weinstein yet never experienced the more toxic darker side of him. A young and upcoming actress who would like to act and be involved with that world may respect Meryl and the work she did with Weinstein that were so successful along with how Meryl enjoyed a good working relationship with him as what they too should experience. If they experience him in a negative light they can think this happened to them through their own fault and be too embarrassed to say anything. The young actress can begin to think it's up to her to find a way to work around this challenge and that is something others do better and something they themselves need to figure out. It may not be something they talk about with an agent that acts as a liason where they get to have a chance to be seen by one of these moguls like Weinstein.

When I was very young, only about 19 years old I took voice lessons with a woman who was very involved with the theater in NY and her husband was a composer. At one point this woman told me about a band that was looking for a female lead singer and that she thought I should try out and that I might enjoy doing that. So, I took her suggestion and I would have to say she was the liason that connected me to this opportunity. Well, she NEVER once told me to be careful and what toxic things I might encounter when it came to being a lead singer in a band and traveling around to different night clubs singing on stage. She never said, "be careful your manager doesn't try to molest you, or that strange men will chase you in parking lots, or that you can even have some guy hop on stage and try to attack you". I began to have experiences that were toxic and frightened me, and yet I just figured I had to learn "how" to navigate around all these kinds of toxic situations. I never told this voice teacher how difficult it was, the toxic things I was facing. So, she never knew that what she set up for me was so difficult and that I was not really prepared to experience a lot of these toxic things I was experiencing. I too got caught alone with my manager and I just did not think he would do what he tried to do with me. I did not even think to tell anyone about it either so it's not hard for me to believe how these different young actresses kept these experiences to themselves. I thought at the time that it's part of that world and it was up to me to learn how to deal with it. I honestly don't think the challenges I ended up facing ever crossed this voice teachers mind to make it a point to warn me about.

Truth is that an agent or manager may not hear about certain toxic challenges the up coming star may experience. That is often because these stars may keep it to themselves like I did. I remember thinking, "OE, you now know NOT to be alone with this man ever again". Truth is, toxic things happen and they happen where others don't see it happen so in that these "others" don't know how an individual can take advantage like what I experienced and what many young "naive" individuals can encounter.

Jill Messick probably had no idea Weinstein could be as toxic as he was, a lot of people in that world did not know, Meryl Streep did not know. That is also what a lot of women that worked with and respected Matt Lauer did not know too. So often when the truth actually comes out and their name is brought out over and over again connecting them to this toxic person and accusing them "oh she must have known", it can make the person feel even worse than they already feel. It can create deep guilt and feeling responsible on a level that can put someone in a very bad state of mind. And if the media and all the social media that is now so prevalent in society is pointing a blaming finger that can cripple anyone. And if someone is already struggling with depression, yes, that can push that person over the edge as is what seemed to happen to this woman. It's very sad.

I think most of us want to believe people are trustworthy and respectful and often people can have a side to them that can be toxic that they hide.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

Thank you for sharing this. I don't follow any mainstream or celebrity news outlets, because it effects my mood and only upsets me. Most of my news I get from friends by word of mouth or shared stories on Facebook. I had not heard of this, and I am definitely holding her family in my thoughts right now.

I can totally understand wanting to steer clear of all the ugliness out there, and I actually stay clear most of the time. As a matter of fact, I wasn't really following the story, and I never heard of Jill Misseck before this story broke. I had no idea of the extent that was being said about her in the news, all I know is she just couldn't deal with it anymore. It is really sad, and it's very kind of you to keep her family in your thoughts, I had a really hard time dealing with this for some reason, more than any of the other stories that have surfaced since this #MeToo movement started.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Unfortunately, in that world of entertainment not everyone knows the hidden challenges that so many of these stars face behind the scenes. Someone like Weinstein can have successful actors and actresses and can be part of creating movies that are very successful and yet, some of these individuals can be toxic in ways not everyone experiences. For example, Meryl Streep has been very successful and respected and was often involved with Weinstein yet never experienced the more toxic darker side of him. A young and upcoming actress who would like to act and be involved with that world may respect Meryl and the work she did with Weinstein that were so successful along with how Meryl enjoyed a good working relationship with him as what they too should experience. If they experience him in a negative light they can think this happened to them through their own fault and be too embarrassed to say anything. The young actress can begin to think it's up to her to find a way to work around this challenge and that is something others do better and something they themselves need to figure out. It may not be something they talk about with an agent that acts as a liason where they get to have a chance to be seen by one of these moguls like Weinstein.

When I was very young, only about 19 years old I took voice lessons with a woman who was very involved with the theater in NY and her husband was a composer. At one point this woman told me about a band that was looking for a female lead singer and that she thought I should try out and that I might enjoy doing that. So, I took her suggestion and I would have to say she was the liason that connected me to this opportunity. Well, she NEVER once told me to be careful and what toxic things I might encounter when it came to being a lead singer in a band and traveling around to different night clubs singing on stage. She never said, "be careful your manager doesn't try to molest you, or that strange men will chase you in parking lots, or that you can even have some guy hop on stage and try to attack you". I began to have experiences that were toxic and frightened me, and yet I just figured I had to learn "how" to navigate around all these kinds of toxic situations. I never told this voice teacher how difficult it was, the toxic things I was facing. So, she never knew that what she set up for me was so difficult and that I was not really prepared to experience a lot of these toxic things I was experiencing. I too got caught alone with my manager and I just did not think he would do what he tried to do with me. I did not even think to tell anyone about it either so it's not hard for me to believe how these different young actresses kept these experiences to themselves. I thought at the time that it's part of that world and it was up to me to learn how to deal with it. I honestly don't think the challenges I ended up facing ever crossed this voice teachers mind to make it a point to warn me about.

Truth is that an agent or manager may not hear about certain toxic challenges the up coming star may experience. That is often because these stars may keep it to themselves like I did. I remember thinking, "OE, you now know NOT to be alone with this man ever again". Truth is, toxic things happen and they happen where others don't see it happen so in that these "others" don't know how an individual can take advantage like what I experienced and what many young "naive" individuals can encounter.

Jill Messick probably had no idea Weinstein could be as toxic as he was, a lot of people in that world did not know, Meryl Streep did not know. That is also what a lot of women that worked with and respected Matt Lauer did not know too. So often when the truth actually comes out and their name is brought out over and over again connecting them to this toxic person and accusing them "oh she must have known", it can make the person feel even worse than they already feel. It can create deep guilt and feeling responsible on a level that can put someone in a very bad state of mind. And if the media and all the social media that is now so prevalent in society is pointing a blaming finger that can cripple anyone. And if someone is already struggling with depression, yes, that can push that person over the edge as is what seemed to happen to this woman. It's very sad.

I think most of us want to believe people are trustworthy and respectful and often people can have a side to them that can be toxic that they hide.

Thank you so much for sharing your personal story and opening up about this. You make some very important points, as someone who literally knew from personal experience. And you're right, many of the really big names or the managers probably didn't know to the extent of how toxic Weinstein was, or how any of them are for that matter. In these changing times, a lot of that is being brought to light now, and although it is very empowering and life changing for some, it is becoming very damaging to others, just like what happened with Jill.

[ArchieAus]

Apologies , I read parts of your posts , but not all . I would like to say that any "movement" that seeks to bring justice to people and make others accountable for their actions is a good thing . There always has to be a balanced approach however . A witch hunt is not a good thing . You can see the media has picked this up and ran with it in their normal fever of a good story . Media outlets don't have feelings or even many scruples these days so it seems . I don't actually think they even care about the wronged people in their stories , the only thing they care about is getting more hits than the next media outlet .They have the power to influence many people and report balanced news . Too many times they are guilty of reporting opinions as fact . In the end someone innocent gets hurt in the process , perhaps many people do . media outlets just report on that too and hold their hands in the air and deny any responsibility . The media , especially internet media is becoming a dangerously unregulated industry .