[shezbut]

I don't know if this post is in the correct forum...If not, please do move it mods (thank you ).

Everything that I read is just pushing me. I'm scared!! Desperate and alone, I'm lost. I don't know what to do.

I was a member of a dating site and I met a guy a couple of weeks ago. He was very nice, polite, and he paid attention to me. We seemed to really hit it off, so we met several times within that time frame. Yesterday, I decided that I needed to be upfront with *Joe* about a couple of my big things: depression and my traumatic brain injury. (I didn't want to go into details yet) Joe was accepting of my admission and then decided that he should let me know about his ghost of the past.

Joe was frank and upfront.

Possible trigger:

Joe admitted to doing time in jail. Eight years. For a sexual crime.

Astounded, and triggered, I didn't know what to say. Somehow (for some reason), I asked questions to get a more clear understanding of what he had done. WHY?? I have no idea!

Possible trigger:

Joe claimed that he was wrongfully convicted of molesting his step-daughter. He said that it was his word against hers & the jury sided with her. I asked him how many counts, as eight years is a VERY long time. what in the world did he do?! He said it was 23 f'ing counts.

23!!! Here, I have many experiences of being abused. Emotionally, sexually, and physical. How could I take his side??! Yes, some people are wrongfully convicted of crimes. That's true. But, with my past, how could I possibly believe him??

UNBELIEVABLE that I was with this guy!!! I have ended the relationship, but I am now kicking myself so hard (I know, I absolutely deserve every little bit of pain). Triggered is an understatement. I don't know what to say or do. I've pulled away from co-workers and acquaintances that are concerned about me. I don't deserve their kindness. I don't know what to do.

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry this has happened to you!

Of course you are triggered and, seemingly, by everything! The world must seem pretty damned unsafe to you right now.

It's a good thing you've found out as early as you have.

Give yourself time to "recover."

In the meantime, keep reaching out wherever you feel safe enough to do so.

Be very gentle with yourself, please.
Stay safe.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Just checking in on you.


WC

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sorry, how horrible and scary .

The world feeling unsafe....

Please be gentle with self ((((( shez )))))

[Bill3]

[healingme4me]

((((shez)))) my heart aches for you!!!

Unbelievable is an understatement. Dashed hopes. As well as, close call.

[maybeblue]

Originally Posted by shezbut

UNBELIEVABLE that I was with this guy!!! I have ended the relationship, but I am now kicking myself so hard (I know, I absolutely deserve every little bit of pain). Triggered is an understatement. I don't know what to say or do. I've pulled away from co-workers and acquaintances that are concerned about me. I don't deserve their kindness. I don't know what to do.

This is NOT your fault. I'm going to say it again. This is NOT your fault. How on earth could you have known? Abusers look just like everyone else. And ending the relationship was really strong and brave. It would be so easy to just kind of go along with his lies just to have the feeling of being cared for. I am impressed that you did that.

Seriously, I am impressed with you. I hope you can stop blaming yourself for this, because this was all him.