I am the survivor of childhood abuse. I have struggled, still do. For the first time ever I have a fantastic therapist. My family are learning to cope and understand me. For the first time I am learning to understand myself and realise that everything I always trivialised that happened was real and I have a right to feel sorry for myself, grieve for my lost childhood and innocence in order to heal. I suppose I am writing this because I want to give others hope.
It is early days and I still go into deep depressions, have anxiety attacks, flashbacks, nightmares.....but they are all because that trauma is coming out and being dumped. I know I have a lot more to go through, but from somewhere a light has been switched on, from within myself, I feel different somehow, I think it's because what happened is being recognised by someone else and I'm being suported by so many wonderful people here and IRL.
Please know, however long it takes, if you are suffering the same way, your light will come on too, and from then on, apart from the odd slip or maybe many slips backwards, it will get better and better. There IS HOPE...there is a life after abuse,,,
you are worthy of love and respect, you're worthy of loving yourself, you're a better person from feeling that hurt and pain and degradation.........
The reason you are a better person is that you will not let others suffer the same, you will be more compassionate, more aware of danger.......so out of a negative comes a positive...

I will never forget or forgive the abuser, but I can put him in a place where he cant hurt me anymore, cant ruin my life or that of those around me.....because if I didn't do this, he would be winning.....

He wont ever beat me from now on.....

With love and care and a helping hand to anyone in this situation

Jinny xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Cyran0]

Thank you Jinny. You have a wonderful heart.

Cyran0

[cajun]

Yeah!!! Progress!!!

thanks guys!!!!!

love ya both....Jin xx

[DePressMe]

thanks Jinny, I too feel like I have made a lot of progress. My world is not perfect, but it is a lot better than it was. I do have hope that things will continue to get better. It is up to me to keep working at it and make it happen. thanks for your post!

(((((((depressedme))))))

I just read your reply to CyranO's post. I can relate to both in a way. I always felt dirty and different and didn't mix well either, but hey, I am letting go of all that and you have all helped along the way.....Tough days ahead but I feel ready, oh so ready to tackle them head on....

We will not let the bullies and perverts of this world win, NO WAY.......pm me anytime, I am here and can listen.

Love you sweetie, Jin xxxxxxx

[pachyderm]

> a light has been switched on, from within myself

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I feel different somehow, I think it's because what happened is being recognised by someone else and I'm being suported by so many wonderful people here and IRL.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Oh that is so great!! Being "heard" and validated can be so powerful!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I will never forget or forgive the abuser, but I can put him in a place where he cant hurt me anymore, cant ruin my life or that of those around me.....because if I didn't do this, he would be winning.....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Yea, you don't have to forget or forgive. Not letting him continue to have power over you is a huge step towards inner peace(IMO)
Good for you jinny!

mandy