The Story Of Cyran0 Part 2 - Trigger Warning

Man, Cyran0, you just cut me to the heart with your writing. It's so honest, frank, and poignant. I hate that 'boys will be boys' attitude. People who have that attitude were never on the receiving end of abuse and bullying. I went through all that bullying and non-acceptance from elementary through highschool. I don't think I'll ever get over it. How can you? My dad's big phrase was, "Just ignore it."

But you know, my saving grace was/is in the arts. And I think artists are such sensitive, honest kind of people because of the pain they've been through. Through art, our pain can be transformed.

You survived, man, and look at all the talent you have, not to mention such a caring heart. . .thanks for sharing your story. . .

Thanks Scott. One thing that's undeniable looking back at all the responses to this thread is that I'm not nearly as alone, unusual or weird as I'd thought.

That's very comforting (though, as always, I'm sorry anyone else has gone through this).

Thanks for the compliment regarding talent and I hope connecting to the story was cathartic.

Cyran0

Cyran0,
The more I read other people's stories, the more I realize I'm not alone. Although it's too bad others have had bad experiences/ childhoods/ etc., it just helps to know I'm not the only one. I always felt like such a freak for all the bullying and teasing I got growing up. I always felt like if I were normal, a 'real' boy, no one would have bothered me. It really helps me to know someone out there knows what all that cruelty felt like--even though everyone's pain and story is their own pain. *****, man, I was so embarrassed, ashamed, timid to even tell my therapist for what he might think about me--when I didn't do anything--I was just on the receiving end of the whole thing.

Anyway, thanks again for sharing your story. Sorry you had to go through that--but you've risen above all of it. (That's not to imply you ever get over it though. . .)

I wanted to share here something that I just wrote to someone in a PM. This person wrote a very heartfelt response to my story and a part of what I wrote back is something I'd like to share with everyone. It explains a bit better how I feel about people's responses.

So here's what I wrote:

"It's been a very profound experience for me, connecting with people since I posted that. Well, I'm sure you read the responses. I've spent my whole life feeling like nobody would ever understand my story because most of what I endured was not visited upon me by adults. So it's always been my secret nightmare. A pain only I could understand. And this has made me feel like an alien to this day.

And then I came here and so many people understand. I can't express what that's like. Sometimes it bring tears to my eyes when I think about it."

So thanks, all of you.

Cyran0