Cats and consent

A few minutes ago, I was having fun with our cats. I playfully said to the first one, "I'm.... gonna.... getcha!" And then I reached for her and picked her up. I hugged her and kissed her as she purred.

After I finished with her, I said to the second one, "I'm.... gonna.... getcha!" I reached for her, but she moved out of the way. "Oh, you don't want me to? That's OK." And I left her alone.

I then moved on to the third one. "I'm.... gonna.... getcha!" He let me pick him up. I hugged him and kissed him, but instead of purring, he squirmed and wanted out of my arms. I put him down.

It would be unkind of me, at best, to insist on cuddling and hugging on a cat that doesn't want me to. It would be stupid to say to the third one, "It's too late. You already let me pick you up. Now I'm going to cuddle with you whether you want me to or not." Nor would I say to any of them, "But you let me pick you up yesterday, so you must want me to pick you up today too."

Even cats shouldn't be touched without consent, which can be withdrawn at any time. It's up to the cat. If this is so easy to understand, why don't people understand it when it applies to other people?

I have to admit I'm guilty of cuddling my cat when he doesn't want it.

I tell this to my brother and husband all the time!! They constantly force attenton on our cats and then wonder why the cats all congregrate around me. I keep telling them if you just listen to the cats and let them come to you they would pay you a lot more attention.

I'm always cuddling to my cats. Probably because they feel safe to me.

I am the same way.

My nephew and niece cats demand that they be petted all the time.

Nobody seems to be figuring out that this isn't literally about petting cats. Does anybody see the point I was trying to make?