How to cope with being raped

16216398 · 03:21 PM

*possible trigger warning* may be graphic to some*

Possible trigger:

I was raped on the 1st of August, 2018.
I was drinking with who I thought were my friends. This man started touching on my breasts, I displayed my discomfort, and told him that I needed to smoke a cigarette (just to get away from him). So I went outside and he ended up following me. He came out there and choked me and began touching me again. He put his hand down my pants and I pushed him away. But that only seemed to fuel him. He then turned me around and proceeded to rape me. It didn't last long (maybe 5-10 minutes) because he heard our friend coming, and stopped. I left shortly after that.
I don't know how to cope with my emotions on this. Could I have done more? He was also drunk, so does that mean he didn't know what he was doing? I keep having flash backs to that night. My vagina hurt for days afterwards due to me not naturally lubricating myself. I still feel his hands on my breasts sometimes (is that normal?). It makes me wish I didn't even have breasts. I still remember that feeling of him choking me, and I remember when I finally gave up. I remember the feeling of the wet railing, against my stomach, (Because it had recently rained) he had me bent over. I remember the physical pain I felt afterwards.

Sometimes I'm able to distract myself, but at other times, it seems that they take over every part of my mind. I feel like I'm right back there on that porch, that wet, dark night. All alone. How can I get these thoughts out of my head?

Rive1976 · Aug 21, 2018, 12:56 PM

Being drunk doesnt excuse him. I have been ***** faced many times and have never acted in any bad way. I think that your feelings are very normal given what you have been through. I think maybe seeing a therapist to help you with your feelings might help. Someone safe to talk to that abides by confidentiality.

12AM · Aug 21, 2018, 01:06 PM

Call the police, report him. This was a serious rape. I’m sorry this happened to you, I’d suggest to see a therapist as therapy will help you to cope with unpleasant feelings.

16216398 · Aug 21, 2018, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Call the police, report him. This was a serious rape. I’m sorry this happened to you, I’d suggest to see a therapist as therapy will help you to cope with unpleasant feelings.

Is it too late to tell the police? It's been almost a month. He told mutual friends that he was leaving the State, so I didn't even want to bother. But he told a friend that he'd plead guilty if I pressed charges.

12AM · Aug 21, 2018, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 16216398

Is it too late to tell the police? It's been almost a month. He told mutual friends that he was leaving the State, so I didn't even want to bother. But he told a friend that he'd plead guilty if I pressed charges.

I don’t think it’s too late. It’s quite common for victims of rape to wait a while before reporting, due to shock, shame, self-blamed, and other things. Don’t let this person get away with this just like that, he has to take a responsibility so he’d think twice if he wants to do it again in the future.

SorryShaped · Aug 21, 2018, 02:31 PM

He'll keep doing it to others until he's stopped. Please report it

nicoleflynn · Aug 21, 2018, 02:51 PM

You can contact RAINN....I have heard good things about them.....Hope you get into therapy, also....this is changed your life and won't go away. He CHOSE to rape you; none of that was your fault.

Aug 21, 2018, 03:09 PM

Report him, you did not deserve that to happen

Wild Coyote · Aug 21, 2018, 04:14 PM

Please seek help. Is there a Rape Crisis Center in your area?
Can you see a therapist?

It is not too late to report the rape. I am concerned that you have a support system in place though.

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

So glad you are reaching out.
Please continue to reach out.

You deserve lots of support.

WC

Buffy01 · Aug 21, 2018, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 16216398

*possible trigger warning* may be graphic to some*

Possible trigger:

I was raped on the 1st of August, 2018.
I was drinking with who I thought were my friends. This man started touching on my breasts, I displayed my discomfort, and told him that I needed to smoke a cigarette (just to get away from him). So I went outside and he ended up following me. He came out there and choked me and began touching me again. He put his hand down my pants and I pushed him away. But that only seemed to fuel him. He then turned me around and proceeded to rape me. It didn't last long (maybe 5-10 minutes) because he heard our friend coming, and stopped. I left shortly after that.
I don't know how to cope with my emotions on this. Could I have done more? He was also drunk, so does that mean he didn't know what he was doing? I keep having flash backs to that night. My vagina hurt for days afterwards due to me not naturally lubricating myself. I still feel his hands on my breasts sometimes (is that normal?). It makes me wish I didn't even have breasts. I still remember that feeling of him choking me, and I remember when I finally gave up. I remember the feeling of the wet railing, against my stomach, (Because it had recently rained) he had me bent over. I remember the physical pain I felt afterwards.

Sometimes I'm able to distract myself, but at other times, it seems that they take over every part of my mind. I feel like I'm right back there on that porch, that wet, dark night. All alone. How can I get these thoughts out of my head?

Theses are all normal feeling to have after the trauma. Being drunk isn't an excuse or give him the right. Have you reported your attacker. I didn't report my attacker. Even today I still don't feel safe it been six years. Have you talk to someone who specializes in trauma? Journal your feeling? For me I had to find a way that I could feel safe. Do you have a friend you can confide in.

Buffy01 · Aug 21, 2018, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dnester

Being drunk doesnt excuse him. I have been ***** faced many times and have never acted in any bad way. I think that your feelings are very normal given what you have been through. I think maybe seeing a therapist to help you with your feelings might help. Someone safe to talk to that abides by confidentiality.

I been drunk myself. Never acted this way. In fact I made sure I knew that I would not be able to take advantage of any one of be vulnerable to anyone else

Buffy01 · Aug 21, 2018, 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Call the police, report him. This was a serious rape. I’m sorry this happened to you, I’d suggest to see a therapist as therapy will help you to cope with unpleasant feelings.

I completely agree with you! Call the police and report him.

Buffy01 · Aug 21, 2018, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 16216398

Is it too late to tell the police? It's been almost a month. He told mutual friends that he was leaving the State, so I didn't even want to bother. But he told a friend that he'd plead guilty if I pressed charges.

It maybe to late to get the physical evidence but go to the doctor and ask if there is in any evidence of a trauma. Call the police give them the name of the witness who knew about the crime.

Buffy01 · Aug 21, 2018, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

I don’t think it’s too late. It’s quite common for victims of rape to wait a while before reporting, due to shock, shame, self-blamed, and other things. Don’t let this person get away with this just like that, he has to take a responsibility so he’d think twice if he wants to do it again in the future.

I completely agree with you. This is all to common. He should be held accountable for his actions.

Buffy01 · Aug 21, 2018, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

He'll keep doing it to others until he's stopped. Please report it

I agree if he didn't once. He will do it again. Who know who he has done this to before you and will do it to someone else.

Stone92 · Aug 22, 2018, 04:03 PM

It sounds like you are having flashbacks. If you think talking to a counselor will help, please do call RAINN. Don't feel pressured to do anything you feel would be unhelpful or re-traumatizing to you. What you need now is to be listened to and have your wishes respected.

His drinking is absolutely no excuse. Drinking doesn't mind-control people. He chose to follow you, choke you, and rape you. He knew what he was doing, or he wouldn't have stopped when he was about to get caught. You are innocent here. He knew what you leaving and trying to push him away meant, and he used violence against you as retaliation.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's absolutely not to late to report it, if that's what you want to do.

Buffy01 · Sep 09, 2018, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicoleflynn

You can contact RAINN....I have heard good things about them.....Hope you get into therapy, also....this is changed your life and won't go away. He CHOSE to rape you; none of that was your fault.

I agree contact them for help

Buffy01 · Sep 09, 2018, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stone92

It sounds like you are having flashbacks. If you think talking to a counselor will help, please do call RAINN. Don't feel pressured to do anything you feel would be unhelpful or re-traumatizing to you. What you need now is to be listened to and have your wishes respected.

His drinking is absolutely no excuse. Drinking doesn't mind-control people. He chose to follow you, choke you, and rape you. He knew what he was doing, or he wouldn't have stopped when he was about to get caught. You are innocent here. He knew what you leaving and trying to push him away meant, and he used violence against you as retaliation.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's absolutely not to late to report it, if that's what you want to do.

I agree! He need to pay for what he did to you! Who know who he has done this to before you!

Menu

How to cope with being raped

My Support Forums