 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jul 18, 2018, 04:46 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Me and my brother are both males my brother was 3 years older then me. Actually he is my half brother my father was his step father he never knew his real father but anyways. I have alot of fuzziness due to that era but he has sexually abused me multiple times.
I never knew how to deal with I think it literally screwed up my whole life. Now it gets worse my father passed away like 5 years ago A few years later after my father's death my brothers kids opened up And claimed my father abused them my brother has 4 kids 3 boys 1 girl. 2 of the boys made the claim I was shocked. Then my brother claimed to me privately that my father sexually abused him and I started to question it and he shut off and said I dont qant to talk about it. This is a extremely huge mess. Now I'm the only one who has not said anything and its killing me as if and when I do say something it definitely will tear my brothers whole family apart and what he built. Plus my brother can be very violent I feel if I try to talk to him or open up he will try to shut me up. I really dont even know how to process all this. Please advise Ps I have not even told my wife who also was sexually abused from her previous marriage. |
 Buffy01, Skeezyks, starryprince
|
 Buffy01
|
|
#2
Jul 19, 2018, 01:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hello Shanectech: I believe this is your introductory post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral!
 I hope you find PC to be of benefit.  I'm sorry you are dealing with this most difficult situation.  Unfortunately I don't know as I have any really creative suggestions for you as to how to deal with all of this. My thinking would be that working through all of this, in-depth & over a period of time, with the help of a skilled therapist may be the first thing you'll need to do.  From my perspective, until you can come to grips with all of this in your own mind I doubt you're going to be able to successfully handle it with your brother. As you wrote, when your brother came out to you regarding the abuse his suffered you questioned it & he shut you out. So you're already "behind the eight ball" on this, so to speak. Plus you mentioned your brother can be violent. So that is another serious consideration.  I don't know if there will ever be a point at which it is going to be workable for you to discuss, with your brother, all that has gone on to say nothing of your brother's boys. That, I think, is part of what you're going to need to figure out in therapy. However given time, & with the help of a skilled therapist, I believe you can come to some resolution in your own mind that will allow you to put all of this to rest & leave it behind.  Should you decide to pursue therapy (assuming you're not already involved with it) one thing to keep in mind is that not every therapist works well with every client. Sometimes it can take a few tries to find the right therapist for you. So it's important not to become discouraged if the first or even the second or third therapist you see doesn't seem to be a good fit. Here are links to 7 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of how to find the right therapist for you: https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...dium=popular17 https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-way...ood-therapist/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/more-o...first-contact/ https://psychcentral.com/find-therapist/ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...apist-for-you/ https://psychcentral.com/find-help/ And then here are links to three articles related to the topic of healing from childhood sexual abuse; the third being a listing of related resources: https://psychcentral.com/sexual-abuse/ https://pro.psychcentral.com/recover...-sexual-abuse/ https://psychcentral.com/resources/A...upport_Groups/ My best wishes to you... 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| Buffy01
|
| Buffy01
|
|
#3
Jul 30, 2018, 08:06 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Last edited by Buffy01; Jul 30, 2018 at 08:06 PM. Reason: I forgot to have instant notification |
|
#4
Jul 30, 2018, 08:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#5
Sep 01, 2018, 03:00 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Wow I have a similar story.. I was abused for years by my older brother.... Learned much later on my mother had been abused too..... I guess in a morbid way it made us closer because we had eachother to talk and relate to.... When my mom died I had to deal with my abuser... He knew my mother knew.... he was still an asshiole . You are correct in feeling like you do... IT has afffected your life... My life has been dsysfunctional and I have never had the space and time to deal and process any of what happened to me.. I feel like my life has been wasted in a horrible bubble. Ignoring it..suppressing it... It always comes out one way or another.... No one can understand what its like .. I took it slow.. saw a therapist and just talked abut whatever..It tool 3 years to get the anger out and learn a way to try and deal with triggers and all the things that we deal with... I have never slept a full nite. I didnt include any of my family for therapy.. I left town and isolated myelf and devoted the time to me. You have to work on you first.. then incorperate loved ones ect
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
