Help forgetting an awful predatory monster

Hi PC, I hope you're all doing well - over the summer, I met a person who tried to manipulate me into having sex with them. I'm refusing to address them by their gender nor by their name because this will humanise them. I've found this to be a helpful coping stratergy talking about it with other people. I just want to forget about them completely, i cannot bare to think of them, I really can't BUT I'm really struggling to forget about it all and will hugely benefit from help and suggestions

I wasn't abused physically nor was I assaulted but this was my first time experiencing intense harassment and manipulation by a predator - this person tried to guilt trip me into trying sex with them, emotionally manipulated me, psychologically abused me and tried to black mail me into sending them nude photographs (they would send me photos of their genitals and say "it's only fair I get something back").

On my part, bad choices were made and lessons were learned - the choices being that I enabled their behavioir for too long and giving them my phone number. FINALLY I decided enough was enough and blocked them. BUT they would message me from different numbers or through friends like a STALKER!!! I thought about calling the police but the situation has calmed down, thank goodness. My problem is trying to forget all of it. Dealing with the leftovers?!

I tbought about going back into therapy to focus on this exclusively and work through it with a specialist but the waiting list is diabolical.

IN SHORT.... an evil predator tried taking advantage of me. I'm struggling to forget about it. Suggestions?

That's really difficult...I'm so sorry to hear about this. Being taken advantage of in any way is very difficult to forget, as it is a direct attack on one's identity. While you wait for a therapist, can you attend a victim support group in your area? Or if you are religious, is there someone you can talk to at a religious organization to prescribe you spiritual practices to deal with the pain? If none of these are available, I'd say seek support of close friends and family members, and read books about coping strategies in the mean time.

And most importantly, you are not at fault for his or her manipulation and harassment. You are the victim here and need not to be blamed for someone else's abusive behavior.

Predators such as that do attempt to make direct attacks on one’s identity, by their manipulation and abuse . I’m very sorry this “person” did these things to you. . It is very difficult to “get over” this sort of thing.. I agree with the advice above. I also hope you don’t have to wait too long for therapy

You are not at fault for any of this.

This has happened to me too . I did end up having sex with the person but I didn't want to . it makes me sad and angry when I remember about it but I didn't realize it was abuse until I read your post and the replies . I've been abused so many times . you have helped me to realize that it is abuse and I thank you for that . I'm sorry I don't know how to make it fade from memory . I wish I could be more helpful

I don't think it is possible to forget things that are traumatic.....You might consider therapy to help you...writing and talking can be helpful. You might write a letter to the abuser...of restorative justice.......that says, this is what you did, this is how t made me feel. The letter is for YOU;I think it helps and is empowering

Thank you ALL so much for you advice, really thank you so, so, so much - the writing nicoleflynn thoughtfully suggested sounds really beneficial, I used to write letters all the time a few years ago and it really helped me so I shall try that again thank you

Talking about it with friends/family can be such a struggle as it's a horrible subject and not easy to verbalise... I really understand how cryingontheinside feels, it's not something nice to even think about, it literally makes me feel sick. But we are not at fault for what happened to us as everyone else has stated - also, you are so strong, cryingontheinside, I'm glad my post has somehow helped you realise that abuse

I find support groups much more helpful than individual therapy. They have a bunch of free ones in my city. The one I go to is a mental illness one, but one for victims of sexual harassment might be good for you. It is very hard to talk about it with people you already know. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger.

I have actually been pressured into having sex several times even though I didn't want to. I no longer see any of those people. Online dating was hard, because most guys only wanted sex. So I don't do it anymore.

Thank you so much for this - I agree 100% with everything you've said, talking can be so much easier with a stranger at times. I've tried online dating too and have felt the same way as you and no longer use any of those apps at all. You are so strong being able to get out there and find a support group, I plan on doing the same too eventually