[cryingontheinside]

I feel guilty that my younger sister was abused when we were kids by my mums bf . he tried to abuse me first but i was aware what he was trying to do because I'd been abused my friends dad . he realized he couldn't do it to me .
Because of the abuse i endured before i couldn't sleep at night with bad memories so i tried to block it out and it worked . i blocked out all of the abuse from everyone , forgot about what my mums bf tried to do too . so that meant i was not longer aware and not protecting my sister . when i was a teen i suspected her abused her and j confronted my mum but instead of listening she began to hate me and physically attack me . only as an adult i remembered everything . i was suppose to be the target not my sister . if i didn't make myself forget i could of stopped it . i feel guilty .

[Open Eyes]

No, not your fault ((cryingontheinside)), you were too young to know what to do at the time. Blocking things out happens when someone doesn't know how to handle situations that are threatening and your mother failed to listen to you and probably would have if you had tried to reach out to her earlier.

It's good that you are now finally deciding to talk about it so you can work on slowly healing.

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I feel guilty that my younger sister was abused when we were kids by my mums bf . he tried to abuse me first but i was aware what he was trying to do because I'd been abused my friends dad . he realized he couldn't do it to me .
Because of the abuse i endured before i couldn't sleep at night with bad memories so i tried to block it out and it worked . i blocked out all of the abuse from everyone , forgot about what my mums bf tried to do too . so that meant i was not longer aware and not protecting my sister . when i was a teen i suspected her abused her and j confronted my mum but instead of listening she began to hate me and physically attack me . only as an adult i remembered everything . i was suppose to be the target not my sister . if i didn't make myself forget i could of stopped it . i feel guilty .

It should not have been anyone, CryingontheInside. Nobody deserves to be abused. Nobody should be abused. The fault lies with the abuser. That was not you. You were a frightened victim. Please allow yourself the compassion, understanding, and time to work through this to a place of peace. I realize that it must be very disturbing to you to recall these events and feelings. Is there a therapist you can trust for support? Or a loyal friend?

Sending you healing energy, love, and peace. Take good care of yourself

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I feel guilty that my younger sister was abused when we were kids by my mums bf . he tried to abuse me first but i was aware what he was trying to do because I'd been abused my friends dad . he realized he couldn't do it to me .
Because of the abuse i endured before i couldn't sleep at night with bad memories so i tried to block it out and it worked . i blocked out all of the abuse from everyone , forgot about what my mums bf tried to do too . so that meant i was not longer aware and not protecting my sister . when i was a teen i suspected her abused her and j confronted my mum but instead of listening she began to hate me and physically attack me . only as an adult i remembered everything . i was suppose to be the target not my sister . if i didn't make myself forget i could of stopped it . i feel guilty .

This is not your fault. It is your mom who should have left the boyfriend.