I have pretty much always known that I was sexually abused by my step-father for a period of about 2 years...ages 11-13 ish. It stopped when he was suddenly diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and died within 6 months (I wonder if he thought "karma is a *****" before he died.)

The thing is that I recall almost nothing about this timeframe of my life. Only bits and pieces that are enough for me to understand why I wouldn't want to remember it. I recently discovered that this is dissociative amnesia. I also have depersonalization/ derealization issues that I'm being affected by now, and realize I have been since I can remember. I just didn't know what all of this was. In honesty, I have always been glad that I don't remember. Now I'm not so sure how that might be affecting me..and maybe the cause for other things I'm dealing with in terms of mental health.

Seeking opinions and experience: Is it beneficial to take steps to try and recall details of it? If so, why? If not, why?

[Rive1976]

It wont do you any good to try I dont think. I have only had 2 repressed memories come to the surface and I am 42. Ive been trying to remember since I was 20 years old. Been hypnotized and everything. If you have amnesia around it maybe thats good. Protecting you.

Originally Posted by Dnester

It wont do you any good to try I dont think. I have only had 2 repressed memories come to the surface and I am 42. Ive been trying to remember since I was 20 years old. Been hypnotized and everything. If you have amnesia around it maybe thats good. Protecting you.

I agree. When I was receiving emergency medical training, the paramedic instructor taught us that severe pain turning into shock where you become numb, might be God's grace to preserve us from trauma. Now that your abuser is dead and there is no necessity to recover memory for investigation (for lawsuit, etc.), I think it's best not to remember.