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#21
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Whether he was a player trying to make me a backup plan since he said his ex broke up with him and blocked him on social media, I have no idea. Usually, men are straightforward with their intentions; you know if they want to be friends or not. But the men who give mixed messages are obviously not good guys b/c mixed messages are a sign he's not into you. That's clear to me now which it wasn't at first. My belief is: if a guy is really interested in me, he won't mislead me the way this guy has. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#22
You may be dealing with a narcissist. I don’t know. It’s also sadly funny to me how this kind of behavior is really common IME.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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MickeyCheeky
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#23
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Nice guys don't give mixed messages out. So either this guy was trying to set me up to be his source of emotional empathy online, b/c of his breakup with his ex, or he was interested in me, but not enough to pursue anything. Either way, in our communications offline and online, he was dismissive of my feelings, tried to deflect any blame on his part by putting it back on me, and tried to shame me for openly expressing my feelings and setting boundaries with him. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#24
It’s good that you are able to spot what you don’t want in a relationship right away.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#25
There has been a lot of focus placed on "narcissists" because of things Trump does and we all know he is constantly talked about and there certainly has been a lot of effort to label him.
That being said, it's important to keep in mind that EVERYONE has some narcissism and that narcissism is on a spectrum so people can exhibit some "traits" or characteristics that are described in the "label" when you read about it but it doesn't qualify that individual as a person with NPD. It's better to focus on recognizing the red flags someone presents to you that reflect that person will not be a good match for you. From what you have shared, this guy is just not a good fit for you and just write him off and move on. This guy is probably not very skilled when it comes to relationships. Often a person will brag because it's their own way of trying to look important or worthy, it doesn't always mean that person had NPD. Just saying. |
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Ohseedee
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#26
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Open Eyes, why are you are making excuses for him, when you write, "This guy is probably not very skilled when it comes to relationships. Often a person will brag because it's their own way of trying to look important or worthy, it doesn't always mean that person had NPD." So, you're making excuses for him, and highlighting me as the one who's overreacted here, correct? Well, you couldn't be more wrong. I mean, seriously? And don't even bring politics into my thread b/c that's not what I posted about. |
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MickeyCheeky
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#27
I am not making excuses for this person. He has exhibited things to you that you have found to be troublesome. I understand that you are concerned about getting involved with someone toxic that can end up hurting you. It sounds like you have come to see things in this guy that are red flags he is not going to be a good fit for you. I think that's what you need to focus on most. I am not even trying to blame anything on you, not my intention. It's good that you are paying attention to things that are not right for you when it comes to relationships.
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Ohseedee, sarahsweets
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#28
At least I cut things off with the narcissist by Stage 3 of these 21 Stages of the Relationship Between a Narcissist and an Empath.
Stage 3: The narcissist will try to break the empath's self-esteem by making them feel weak and unable to do things. The narcissist will never openly attack the empath, but will say things like, "I don't mean to hurt you but..." This guy said that several times to me when I confronted him about all the social media attention-bombing he was doing to me after we met in person. To defend himself, and deflect attention off of himself and try to blame me, he said, "I don't mean to sound mean Blanche, but none of my other friends have a problem with all the messages I send them..." And things like that. |
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MickeyCheeky
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#29
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Between you, Sarahsweets, and Ohseedee's negating posts in my thread, I don't appreciate the way the three of you invalidated me and then tried to pretend you didn't. Not exactly helpful to say the least. |
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MickeyCheeky
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#30
Um, I don't know what you are talking about, I did not edit my post after posting it, it would say if I edited it, look it doesn't say it.
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MickeyCheeky
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Ohseedee
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#31
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A narcissists is a master of disguise. If he showed his true color in the beginning, no one would want to get close to him. So acting flirty is his mask or cover. |
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MickeyCheeky
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#32
I don't think that you made a rash decision that he is a narcissist. You presented to us series of symptoms that led you up to this conclusion, rather than picking one isolated event and jumping to a conclusion. It's well thought-through, well-articulated, and highly-informative.
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#33
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And narcissists always wear the charming, funny guy disguise b/c its one that women respond to the best. The problem is, not ALL men are narcissists but so many are, it's hard to tell right off the bat if it is a mask or if it's real. In his case, it's definitely a mask. Quote:
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Anonymous43949, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky, sarahsweets
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#34
The things you describe about his behavior are definitely fishy.
His comment about social media is strange to me. He’s 60. IME a man of that age wouldn’t be so prolific with the social media, wouldn’t have made a point to mention that the ex blocked him. This is ‘off’ to me. You did the right thing, listening to your gut. Good for you. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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MickeyCheeky
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#35
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And people that are "not part of mental health treatment or mental health field" may not be in a position to question the validity of someone else's story. |
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sarahsweets
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#37
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I wish I was able to take back what I said and apologize to Blanche but she has me on ignore. I should have done a better job validating what she experienced. I feel bad about it now. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Anonymous43949, MickeyCheeky
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