[SuperCatLover]

I met the most dramatic, scary behaving man I have ever known. Maybe of either sex. I have a borderline diagnosis I do not agree with, when I watched u youtube descriptive videos in both BPD and Psychopaths, I realized he literally behaved in full-blown manner like both! This had been a very confusing bitter pill to swallow. And it does make things feel easier letting him go. But I feel like a bigger romantic failure for dating him at all. I have the invisible bat in.my hand and am blaming myself deep down Why did I attract someone do incredibly sick? I expect to never encounter a guy so MI and possibly physically dangerous to me ever again..

Originally Posted by SuperCatLover

I watched u youtube descriptive videos in both BPD and Psychopaths

Yeah, I attract borderliners like **** attracts flies. I don't get it either, especially since I tend not to like borderliners all that much (no offense).

So, what was it about him that you found attractive?

How did you get involved? Was it a whirlwind romance? Were there any early warning signs that maybe you glossed over? It's easy to blame oneself, but don't. Often it's 20/20 hindsight! We see all the early red flags after the fact, OR we see them while they happen and feel it may not be right, but we give them a chance anyways. I have done that multiple times myself with many truly sick people. Don't be so hard on yourself.... try to learn from it instead.... what can you learn about this experience, yourself and the kinds of traits and behaviors you need to avoid?

[Fuzzybear]

I was wondering the same as golden eve. I’ve given some very sick (not the “nice” sort of “crazy” ) people too many chances too. Grrrrr

Originally Posted by SuperCatLover

I met the most dramatic, scary behaving man I have ever known. Maybe of either sex. I have a borderline diagnosis I do not agree with, when I watched u youtube descriptive videos in both BPD and Psychopaths, I realized he literally behaved in full-blown manner like both! This had been a very confusing bitter pill to swallow. And it does make things feel easier letting him go. But I feel like a bigger romantic failure for dating him at all. I have the invisible bat in.my hand and am blaming myself deep down Why did I attract someone do incredibly sick? I expect to never encounter a guy so MI and possibly physically dangerous to me ever again..

It's okay if you don't agree with the diagnosis. You can go to another therapist for a second opinion. People get second opinions for physical conditions all the time, so why not for mental health?

You are not a failure for falling for him, as Narcs are very smooth; they are good actors. Also, they tend to move fast and push themselves on you. So I think for next time, two things to consider:

1). It's best to date when you are in your best condition and can think clearly. I made the mistake of allowing someone to get close to me when I was under a lot of stress in my life. I fell for this person because I thought I was getting compassion (which turned out to be disingenuous).

2).I also tell myself this all the time, but go slow and move cautiously. If you see an orange or yellow flag, trust you instincts. If you are unsure, ask your friends or your therapist.