[emmaleemochizuki]

My abuser started to sexually abuse me when I was 8,

Possible trigger:

it started with him touching my private parts, putting his fingers inside me, make me watch porn, and dress up to pose a certain way while he is videoing.

I was 10, when he started to actually get inside me. It hurt like hell, and I cried and cried, but it just gets him more excited the rougher it gets. He slaps me, strangle me, I always end up with very bad bruises, and everywhere especially down there is sore as hell.

It's been 6 years, I am almost 21 now, and the abuse stopped when I was 15. I thought time will take away its effect on me but it doesn't.

I am still suffering yet he never spend a day in jail for what he did.

[Yaowen]

Dear emmaleemochizuki,

It is so heartbreaking that this happened to you. Wish I knew what to say that would be helpful but I lack the wisdom. I hope you will find some way to find peace of mind and joy of living! What happened to you is awful.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[Skeezyks]

I'm so sorry you had to endure this dreadful experience. Here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of at least some small help:

Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse

11 Common Symptoms Experienced by Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Coping with Flashbacks

Recovering from Childhood Abuse: The Past Keeps Getting Clearer

https://psychcentral.com/blog/child-...talk-about-it/

Please take care...

[nicoleflynn]

I amso sorry. I was molested as a child. I am now 73.....it is something that impacts your life. . You might consider getting therapy. Did you tell anyone? Was it reported to the police?