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  #1  
Old Jun 15, 2020, 12:31 AM
FridayT FridayT is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 55
I do want to apologize and hope this won't be offensive or problematic. But I had to get it off my chest.

(Upsetting and dark poem. I by no means meant to demean survivors of rape, this was my pain I felt with my ****** marriage I’m in right now)

Dear beloved, I hate you.
For many years, you humiliated me
For many years, you dehumanized me
You’ve treated me like **** for years

Dear beloved, I hate you
I wish we’ve never met.
I tried to get away, but you won’t let go.
Not out of love, but out of need to control
Just violate me and be done with It!

Dear beloved, I hate you
This marriage was pointless
This relationship wasn’t love
You’ve drained me of life, money and sanity.
Just be done with it and violate me!

Dear beloved, I hate you.
You’ve always complained nonstop for years!
You slammed and caused me anxiety, I begged you to stop!
But you never listen, you think you’re justified!
You demand I do something about everything you hate!

Dear beloved, I hate you!
Never had I felt affection from you for years!
Never had felt wanted!
Instead you used me and abused me!
I cannot speak without you debasing my pain!

Dear beloved, I hate you!
You have violated me!
I’m averse to affection now.
I’m averse to sex now.
I want no one to touch me!

Dear beloved, I hate you!
You never loved me
You never apologized
You never think about how you’re hurting me!
No, it’s all about you!

Dear beloved, I hate you!!
You’ve already destroyed me.
I cannot speak
I cannot be free
I live in a nightmare you created for me.

Dear beloved, I hate you!!
I rather suffer pain and trauma
Which would be preferable.
I already suffer because of you.
I truly loved being married to a monster!
Hugs from:
Abusedbysister, divine1966
Thanks for this!
Abusedbysister, childofchaos831, guy1111, MrMoose, shovelhead

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  #2  
Old Jun 15, 2020, 08:28 PM
childofchaos831's Avatar
childofchaos831 childofchaos831 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
FridayT, I love the poem. It hit home for us. We weren't married to him, he was a boyfriend, but those feelings... This could have been something we had written then...

Please be safe, okay?
__________________


Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
Hugs from:
FridayT
Thanks for this!
FridayT, guy1111
  #3  
Old Jun 17, 2020, 01:19 AM
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MrMoose MrMoose is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 190
Dear FridayT
The poem was not unnecessary at all.
I spent many a night staying on my couch posting here in the dark of the night ... when she fell asleep and the chaos was done for the day.
I’m free now, as is my younger daughter, but it took a couple of years. I hope you can escape and get back to your life again.
My hurt boils down to this: I expected to be part of a vital, loving, stable partnership with this woman; in the end I realized that she could never have a true partner with a voice and needs and likes and dislikes—that was never what she needed or wanted or even was capable of having.
Your poem just describes our relationship
per
fect
ly
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FridayT
Thanks for this!
FridayT, guy1111
  #4  
Old Jun 26, 2020, 10:10 AM
guy1111 guy1111 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
Thank you for your poem.
Hugs from:
FridayT
Thanks for this!
FridayT
  #5  
Old Jun 27, 2020, 10:28 AM
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Abusedbysister Abusedbysister is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 143
Thank you for the poem. I enjoyed reading it. I like to write something like this for my sister.
Hugs from:
FridayT
Thanks for this!
FridayT
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